The Naked Truth is Powerful

Last night my friend told me that people sometimes talk about me behind my back.  This is a familiar conversation.  I’ve had it before with other people.  The nature of the discussion was as follows:

Friend: “Sometimes people say things to me about you.”

Me: “That’s not my problem.”

Friend: “But it is my problem because I defend you.”

Those weren’t the exact words of the conversation, but that was the essence of it.  As much as I appreciate my friend defending me, he didn’t have to.  I don’t feel the need to defend myself from people who say things about me behind my back.  I don’t need to defend myself from them because I know I have power over them.  I know I already have power over them because they haven’t said a word about it to my face.

A person’s power lies not in the opinions of others but in their ability to speak their truth.  You are giving them power over you by hiding your truth from someone and talking behind their back.  Whatever you said, you weren’t brave enough to say it to their face.

There is only one reason you talk shit about someone behind their back: you’re too scared to say it to their face.  You are too weak and cowardly and afraid to raise the issue directly with the person.  Maybe you fear the person’s ideas.  Perhaps you fear their intellect.  Maybe you fear their influence.  Maybe you fear getting your ass kicked.  Whatever you were afraid of, you were afraid of something, and you were too cowardly to face that fear by talking directly to the person you have an issue with.

Losing Integrity is Losing Power

A man who knows this, and lives in his truth, is invincible from such attacks.  A person’s power lies in their integrity, and every time you say something about someone that you wouldn’t say to their face, you lose your integrity.  Every time you lose your integrity, you lose power; your word means less and less until it eventually means nothing.  The areas of your life where you are out of integrity are the areas where you are most vulnerable.

I know I have no right to hold a grudge against someone without first talking to them about it, and I know other people have no right to hold a grudge against me without talking to me first.  Since these anonymous shit-talkers aren’t man or woman enough to speak to me, their opinion means nothing.  It’s also a good indication that whatever they said is false because if it was true, they shouldn’t have any problem saying it directly to me in front of everyone.

That’s a good rule to follow: don’t say anything about someone that you wouldn’t say directly to them in a room full of people.  If you wouldn’t say it to them in a room full of people, then you probably shouldn’t say it because you were probably wrong and not them.

If you can’t speak your truth to someone, whether out of fear or something else, they have power over you.  So keep talking shit behind my back, minions.  You’re giving me power over all of you, and I love having power – especially over weaklings, liars, and cowards.  You can keep talking shit, and I will keep telling the truth to everyone, standing naked and beautiful for all the world to see.