9 Key Takeaways from Quietly Influential by Jimmy Lai

 

I recently read Jimmy Lai’s book, Quietly Influential, and found it so useful that I wrote a blog on it because there was too much valuable information for a social media post.

 

The book is about how to use LinkedIn effectively.  There are a lot of gurus in this space – a lot of people selling courses, “blueprints,” etc. on how to turn you into a LinkedIn hero overnight.

 

Jimmy is not a guru, and his book is not woo-woo nonsense.  Having read it closely, and taken detailed notes, I can tell you it’s the real deal.  It’s real knowledge earned through experience and generously shared by someone who knows.

 

Like many people, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Jimmy on LinkedIn, and I have found him to be exactly how he is in his writing: authentic, smart, funny, insightful, and generous with his knowledge.  In short, he’s a good guy and he’s offering real value with this book.

 

So, without further ado, here are my biggest takeaways from Quietly Influential:

 

 

1) Focus on building a community, not an audience

 

LinkedIn is about building relationships.  It’s a place to have real conversations rather than broadcast to a crowd.  Learning this was a gamechanger for me, because prior to reading the book, I always did the opposite.

 

I thought that broadcasting to a crowd is what social media is.  I was wrong – and this misconception stunted my growth on LinkedIn and other social media channels.  For years, I was frustrated with my lack of growth on social media.  I felt like I had been posting consistently and going nowhere.  I was certain that my whole approach was wrong, but I didn’t know how to fix it.

 

The biggest sign that something was wrong was that I always felt a disconnect between how I show up in person, and how I show up online.  I don’t mean that in a good way – I show up much better in person than online – but I never understood why.

 

After reading Jimmy’s book, it became clear.  I was treating LinkedIn as an audience and not a community.

 

A community is a place where people know you and know each other – it’s more intimate than an audience.  The connections run deeper.  People have real relationships that take time to build.  People invest their time and resources into each other.  People talk about each other when they are not in the room.

 

When you think of LinkedIn as a community, the people you interact with become real.  They are not avatars or ideal client profiles.  They are people who you actually know and care about.  A community gives you sustained exposure and real trust – trust that has been triangulated by other members of the community – which is the most powerful form of trust there is.

 

Since I changed my mindset from audience to community, I’ve already noticed that I choose my words more carefully when I write.  I think about the consequences of my words more thoroughly and pay closer attention to the ears they will be falling on.

 

Writing on LinkedIn can feel like screaming into the void, and it can be easy to get careless when you think no one cares.  But you have to remember that just because people don’t engage with your posts on LinkedIn doesn’t mean they aren’t paying attention.

 

People are paying attention, even if they don’t engage with you.  They are part of the “lurker economy” – which, as Jimmy noted in his book, are oftentimes the most valuable people on LinkedIn.

 

 

2) Embrace the lurker economy

 

The most private people on LinkedIn are often the most valuable ones paying attention.  The professional culture of top executives often does not reward the kind of exposure that comes from engagement.  They are reading, watching, and forming opinions about you in silence.

 

Your most valuable audience is often silent, but they are paying close attention.  Always trust that the right people are paying attention, even when the engagement appears quiet.

 

Writing for what appears to be an empty room can be frustrating.  Don’t get mad.  Have faith that your work is reaching the right people, even if it feels like it’s not.

 

Don’t expect your ideal clients to leave feedback on your posts.  They often won’t until the day they pick up the phone to call you.

 

 

3) Focus on the comments

 

This one is so important it arguably should go first.  For years, I thought you had to be an idiot to spend your time in the comment sections on social media.  Boy, was I wrong – especially when it comes to LinkedIn.

 

Commenting is the highest leverage move on the whole platform for several reasons:

1. 1. Commenting puts your thinking in front of new audiences you otherwise wouldn’t get with an original post
   2. Comments can be seen by thousands of people
   3. Anyone who finds your comment useful can click on your profile and/or send you a connection request
   4. Comments are a way for you to add value to people who you want to build a relationship with, and they cost you nothing
   5. You can establish a direct connection with people you otherwise wouldn’t have access to by commenting on their posts
   6. Commenting on people’s posts builds rapport with them, opening the door for a direct message or private conversation

 

The comments section is how you build relationships with people online.  Conversations move naturally from the comments section into the DMs.  If you’ve been commenting on people’s post, and they have seen your comments and interacted with them, then your DM to them is no longer cold.  They will recognize you as someone who has been contributing to them and will treat you as such.

 

Cold DMs on LinkedIn are very easy to ignore.  People get inundated with them constantly.  The key to getting past this barrier is to build relationships people BEFORE you send them a DM, and the way to do this is by leaving generous, thoughtful comments on their posts.

 

 

4) How to comment effectively

 

Always be kind, generous, and professional in the comments.  How you treat people in public signals how you will treat them in professional relationships.  Ask, “would I be comfortable if my most important client read this tomorrow?”

 

Be substantive instead of provocative, and generous instead of self-promotional.  Focus on adding value to the conversation.  This may take the form of a follow up question, different perspective, thoughtful acknowledgement, or genuine compliment.

 

Read the other comments on the post first, to make sure that what you’re saying hasn’t already been said.  Also, respond to the other comments.  Engaging with other people’s comments adds value to the person who made the post and the person who made the comment – so you actually get two birds with one stone.

 

Remember that showing up as your most honest, credible, and generous self is the whole strategy.  Don’t bash people, and don’t traffic in negativity.  Both LinkedIn and real communities reward kindness and generosity.

 

Be collaborative rather than competitive.  Add to the conversation rather than trying to hijack it.  The goal is to have an actual human conversation, not to sound clever.

 

All comments should add value.  No generic comments.  Generic comments harm your credibility more than they help it, especially now that people are doing them with AI.

 

In my opinion, don’t ever leave AI comments or DMs.  It damages your credibility on LinkedIn.

 

 

5) How to find relevant posts for comments

 

Finding relevant posts for comments was surprisingly difficult for me.  For a long time, my feed was showing me content that was not relevant, or only marginally relevant – which reduced the number of opportunities I had to leave meaningful comments that would reach my intended audience.  However, there are solutions to this problem.

 

One solution is to turn on all notifications for posts by people you want to follow closely.  For high-value potential employers, partners, clients, etc. - turn on their notifications (the little bell) so that you are notified every time they post.  This saves you the trouble of having to dig around and see who posted what.

 

By turning on notifications, LinkedIn automatically tells you any time one of your highest value targets made a post. This gives you the added advantage of being one of the first people to comment on their posts.  The earliest comments typically perform best, so the sooner you can comment, the better.  Turning on notifications makes sure are the first to know when a key player makes a post.

 

Another solution is to use the “unfollow” and “not interested” buttons ruthlessly in your feed.  Doing so trains your feed to show only content you are interested in.  The more feedback you give LinkedIn about the types of content you want to see, the more specifically the algorithm will tailor your feed to your desires.  If irrelevant or marginally relevant content are showing up in your feed, go ahead and smash “unfollow” or “not interested” with impunity.  Doing so will help clean up your feed.

 

A third solution is to use the LinkedIn search function to find relevant posts.  Here’s how to do it:

1. 1. Go to the LinkedIn Search Bar
   2. Type a topic connected to your expertise
   3. Click on the “Posts” filter
   4. Sort by “Latest”
   5. Look for posts with between 15 and 50 comments

 

Jimmy says the sweet spot are posts with between 15 and 50 comments.  These posts get a lot of views and engagement, but not so much that your comment will be buried.

 

 

6) Guidelines for posting

Showing up as your most honest, generous, credible self is the entire strategy.  LinkedIn is a place to build real relationships, not to run ads.  You don’t need hot takes or a content team.  You just have to show up consistently as your most thoughtful self.

 

Consistency beats everything on LinkedIn.  Aim for 2-3 posts per week.

 

Always be kind.  Kindness is strategic, not optional.  Everything you say on LinkedIn signals how you will treat people in professional relationships.  Show constraint and consistent professionalism.  The focus is building a lasting professional reputation.

 

 

Types of content that do well

 

Jimmy lists a few content frameworks that he’s seen perform particularly well.  I’ve used variations of these frameworks myself with good results:

• • The pattern I keep seeing
  • The question I always ask
  • The thing I did wrong early in my career
  • The thing I wish I’d known earlier
  • Here’s how I think about this

 

 

Content drafting process

 

Scrolling through old photos is a great way to get post inspiration.  Write down the stories and memories that the photos conjur and use them for content.

 

Other people’s posts are another great source of post inspiration.  When you like another post, ask what it sparked or inspired.  What memory or experience does it bring back?  Then write a post about it.

 

The best posts name a precise problem, describe a particular situation, and share hard-earned insight from real life experience.  From my experience, real-life stories with hard-earned lessons perform consistently well.

 

Remember to write like you’re writing to your best friend who’s not interested in formalities.

 

 

Minimum viable post

 

The book introduces the idea of the minimum viable post – the minimum requirements a post must meet to be publishable.  The three primary requirements are that the post must be:

1. 1. Accurate
   2. Useful
   3. Sound like you (human)

 

If the post meets those three requirements, ask “will people find this useful or insightful?”  If yes, publish it.

 

Make sure that every post reflects the type of professional you want to be known as.

 

 

Helpful writing tips

 

1. Clarity beats cleverness every time on LinkedIn.
2. Quality compounds faster than volume.
3. Consistency compounds faster than intensity.
4. Be specific. Vague content rarely moves people.
5. Specificity signals real experience.
6. Do not tease or withhold value. Experienced professionals have no time for that.
7. Be genuinely helpful.

 

 

Mistakes to avoid

 

Don’t traffic in negativity.  If it’s a sour message, don’t post it.  Negativity is there and will always be there, but don’t allow it to make the decisions.

 

Don’t whine.  Nobody wants to hear you be a sad sack.

 

Don’t post when you’re angry.  Implement a 24-hour rule for emotionally charged responses.

 

 

7) Vulnerability vs. Cringiness

 

I always wondered where the line between vulnerability and cringiness was.  Where, exactly, is the line between sharing and oversharing?

 

The distinction lies in the author’s intent.  Vulnerability for the sake of attention comes off as performative, cringy, and oversharing - and weakens credibility.  However, vulnerability rooted in thoughtful self-reflection increases credibility rather than weakening it.

 

So, if you’re wondering whether a post is cringe or not, just ask whether it’s vulnerability for the sake of attention or if there’s a deeper meaning behind it.

 

 

8) Keeping Score

 

Visible engagement is often a terrible measure of actual influence.  Many people read silently.  Don’t get rattled by a lack of likes and comments on your posts.  Trust that they are reaching the right people, even if engagement is low.

 

Follower count only signals credibility to people who haven’t read your work yet.  After that, they evaluate you on substance.

 

100 of the right followers beats 10,000 of the wrong ones.  The depth and quality of the relationships matters more than the volume, and depth takes time to develop.  That’s why consistency matters.

 

Trust, not impressions, is what leads to business.  The focus is always on building credibility.

 

Leave low engagement posts up for at least 2 weeks before deciding if it worked.

 

 

9) Be Generous

 

This rule arguably could be number one: be generous.  It builds your reputation as someone who shows up for others.  Show up generously with no hidden agenda.  Communities reward generosity – both online and in real life.

 

Generosity is attractive.  It’s magnetic.  It draws people to you.  Generosity makes you charismatic and someone people want to be around.  People like feeling taken care of.

 

Give genuine attention, you don’t have to force the relationship forward unnaturally.  If the conversation stops, let it.  Then return when it’s natural to do so.

 

Be supportive of other people.  Help them out however you can.  If you want more comments, then give more comments.  And don’t just stop with comments – share their work.

 

 

Conclusion

 

If you found this article useful, I highly suggest picking up a copy of Quietly Influential.  There is lot in the book that is not in this article.  These are just my key takeaways.  If you read the book, you might have completely different takeaways because there are lots of gold nuggets in there.

 

Time spent on LinkedIn is an investment, and Quietly Influential is helping me make the most out of it.  You can pick up a copy for yourself here.

 

Want to stay in touch?  Connect with me on LinkedIn.