Ana: A Mexican Love Story

Dedicated to my dogs:
Elvis, Maya, and Queenie

In the name of love and art

The following is a true story.  Only the names are changed to protect people’s privacy.

Prologue

I guess the most logical place to start this story is at the beginning.

How I wound up in Manzanillo, Colima, Mexico is a whole different story that I have already told, so I’m not going to recount it again here.

Me in the jungle in Manzanillo, Colima at Cerro da La Cruz.

That story is an epic saga in itself.  But for now, it’s only necessary to know that I came to Mexico to learn Spanish and seek adventure.

I met Ana because I could speak Spanish.  My Spanish was far from perfect when we met, but I had developed my Spanish enough to build a real relationship with her.

When we first started dating, it took a lot of mental focus to listen to her and understand what she was saying.  Talking and listening in your second language is heavy brain work, and it can be mentally exhausting.  But my feelings for Ana were strong enough that I stuck it out and maintained focus no matter how tired I was.  I remember that by the time I went to bed, I was completely wiped out.  I slept like a bear.

Even after Ana and I moved in together, I still had to focus a lot to communicate with her in Spanish – especially the listening part.  I had to make a conscious effort to focus on what she was saying to understand.

However, after some time, speaking Spanish became second nature for me – and I can thank Ana for that.  Speaking Spanish every day with Ana is what made me bilingual.

There are still times when I feel frustrated because the things I want to say don’t translate directly to Spanish, and I don’t know how to express them in a way that a Spanish speaker would.  So, I feel like I have to say things differently in Spanish than I do in English – and it doesn’t land the same way or have the same impact.

I am a wordsmith by profession – a writer – so words and word choice are important to me.  When I cannot express myself fully and completely, I get frustrated, and it still happens sometimes – even though my Spanish is advanced now.  Learning all of the idioms and terminology is an ongoing process, and I will always be continuing to learn to express myself in Spanish.

Chapter 1 – How I Met Ana

‘’To tell a heartbreaking story, you have to tell a love story first.  There can be no heartbreak without love.’’
-Eddie Signaigo

The story starts at the Tuesday Language Club.  My friend Daniela and I founded a language club at the café by my house.  Daniela owned the café, and I used to go in regularly to work and talk to Daniela and the other people at the café.

One day, I said to Daniela that I wished I had more friends to practice Spanish with.  Daniela suggested we start a language club.  I went home and hand-drew a sign, we put it on the window of the café, and just like that the language club was born.

The actual sign I drew when Daniela and I started the Tuesday Language Club.

The language club is where I met Rafa.  Rafa and I exchanged numbers and kept in touch, and one day he invited me to La Audiencia – a scenic beach near my house – with his friends.

La Audiencia, Manzanillo.

I met them at a convenience store near the beach.  We all piled in the car together: Rafa, Ana, Memo (Ana’s brother), María (Ana’s niece), and Luciana (also Ana’s niece).

I remember Rafa introducing all of us.  It wasn’t a ‘’love at first sight’’ thing with Ana.  For one, I thought she was too young.  She was with María, who was only 17 at the time, and I guessed they were both around 20 years old.

With me being 37, I figured I was too old for her – and I wasn’t trying to date anyone, anyway.  At the time, I hadn’t dated anyone in years, and I wasn’t really looking.  I burned out of the dating scene while I was in the U.S. and decided I was better off alone.  I hadn’t been on a date in five years when I met Ana.

That’s part of the reason I was surprised when Ana opened up to me.  She started asking me a lot of questions – about me.  Soon, I learned that Ana was 27 years old – older than I initially thought – and that she would be moving to Canada soon for work.

The fact that she asked me so many questions about myself made me wonder if she was interested in me, but the fact that she was moving to Canada stymied any chance of a relationship.  I wasn’t ready to move to Canada, and I didn’t want to do a long-distance relationship.

But Ana and I stayed in touch.  We hung out a few more times with Rafa and our group of friends, and eventually exchanged phone numbers.

Chapter 2 – The Adventure Crew

In the beginning, Ana and my relationship developed by hanging out with mutual friends.  We went on hikes and went into nature together in the areas around Manzanillo.

Exploring in Colima.

We camped, hiked, and explored.  We visited Suchitlán, Comala, La María, Tapalpa, and other pueblos.  We hiked to viewpoints, waterfalls, and hot springs.  We did a temazcal.  These were the exact type of adventures I had in mind when I moved to Mexico.

A temazcal, or sweat lodge.

Our group consisted of Ana, Memo, Rafa, María, and Rafa’s friend Sofia.  Sometimes other friends joined us.  Looking back on it, it was one of the most fun and exciting times of my life.  It seemed like every weekend we got together to go on an adventure.  Sometimes we camped, and sometimes we went on daytrips, but we were always doing something together.

Ana and I talked on the phone daily and grew closer and closer.  One weekend, we went on a camping trip to La María – which is a lagoon with hikes featuring prehistoric caves and tunnels.  By this point, I felt a deep attraction to Ana and was hoping that the feeling was mutual.

Hiking in La María.

When night fell, Rafa and Memo slept in one tent.  I slept in the other with Ana and Sofia.  Sofia slept between Ana and I.  I remember wishing that I was closer to Ana.

The following day, Ana and I went on a walk together to the lagoon.  I think it was one of the first times we were alone together.  We had spent a lot of time together in groups and talking on the phone, but I don’t think we had spent much time alone together.

As we continued to walk and talk.  My attraction to Ana became so strong that I had to take action.  As we stood together looking out at the laguna, I reached out and gave her a hug.  It was probably one of the best hugs I’ve ever had in my life.  Her warm response let me know that the hug was welcome.

Laguna La María.

After that, I cautiously went in for a kiss, and she responded.  That’s how our first kiss went, right there next to the water at Laguna La María.  I couldn’t have been happier.  I had gone five years without dating anyone, and now I had found this wonderful girl.  I hoped that it was the beginning of something great.

I remember inviting Ana over to my house and making dinner for her.  That was the first time she stayed over.  We didn’t sleep a wink.  We stayed up all night making out.  I was already in love with her and had every reason to believe that the feelings were mutual.  It is a great place to be.  For someone who had been sleeping alone for five years, Ana was a gift from God.

That’s why it seemed so cruel that she would be taken away from me.  We met only a few months before she was scheduled to move to Canada.  I knew from the beginning that she was going to be moving, and I didn’t really expect a relationship to happen, but it did.

As the date for her move approached, I became very sad.  It seemed like the universe had conspired against me to bring this person into my life – this source of love, joy, and happiness – only to rip it away.  It seemed like a cruel and unusual punishment for a crime that I didn’t commit.  Here’s love.  Now it’s gone.

Our friends asked me what I am going to do when Ana leaves.  I said I was going to be sad.  That was the truth.

About two weeks before she was supposed to leave, I was at home one day, and I just started crying – probably for the first time in years.  It just didn’t seem right that I was going to lose Ana.  I asked God why.  Why did you bring her into my life just to take her away?  What did I do to deserve that?  I was doing just fine all on my own.

Those tears made me realize how much I cared about her.  This was not a fling.  I was devastated that she was leaving.

I had already prepared for the worst when I received a sudden and life-changing phone call.  Ana decided not to move to Canada.  She wanted to stay in Manzanillo with me.  Her job allowed her to work remotely, and she took them up on it.

Frankly, it felt like one of the only times in my life that God answered my prayers, and I got something I truly wanted in the deepest parts of my soul.  Most of the things I pray for never happen.  This one did.

Not only was I happy to have Ana, but I felt like fate and destiny were on our side.  We were meant to be together.  This was not a coincidence.  The stars aligned perfectly.  This was the work of the divine.  Our relationship was blessed by God.  I was starting to hope and believe that I had found my soulmate – a partner for life.

Chapter 3 – Moving In Together

Ana deciding to stay in Manzanillo let me know that she was serious about our relationship, and I was serious about it, too.  I could hardly believe my good fortune that she decided to stay.

One of our next conversations was about moving together.  I said that if we are serious, then we should move in together and see how it goes.  If it goes well, then we will get married.  Ana agreed.  I asked her when she wanted to move in.

I was thinking she would want to move in in a couple of months.  She responded, “two weeks” – which is faster than I was expecting, but I certainly did not argue.  I was just happy that she was coming at all.  For me, this was a dream come true.

So, one day she came over with her suitcases and belongings, and just like that we moved in together—a real, official couple.  I was probably the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.

We lived in a two-bedroom condo that was about 50 yards from the beach.  I had already been living there for a year or so when Ana moved in.

View from the first condo where Ana and I lived together.

One of the first things we did was buy four miniature water turtles, which we called The Ninja Turtles.  We kept them in a glass enclosure, which we had to clean regularly.  Cleaning the enclosure was not fun.  Frankly, it was a pain in the ass.

We fed the turtles daily and also had to give them eye drops regularly to prevent infection.  They did not like the eye drops and always tried to escape when it was time for them.

We couldn’t take the turtles out of the enclosure too often, because they always tried to escape.  Once, one of them did escape.  We searched the whole house and couldn’t find him.  Eventually, he turned up on the floor a couple of weeks later – dry, tired, and not looking well.  We put him back in his habitat, fed him, and he bounced back quickly.

Our adventure crew continued going on trips together.  We went to various lakes and parks.  We went on hikes through the hills and mountains in Manzanillo and the surrounding areas.

Kayaking at the lake.

One time we went to the zoo in Colima.  It was an unplanned trip.  We happened to walk past the zoo, and as we walked past, I peeked inside.  What I saw inside was a monkey with huge, electric blue nuts.  I had never seen a monkey like that before and couldn’t help but laugh.  Everyone asked me what I was laughing about, so I told them, and they laughed too.  We decided to go in and check out the blue-balled monkeys and all of the other animals, too.

The famous monkey with blue nuts.

I couldn’t help but think that the zookeepers purposely put the blue-balled monkeys at the front of the zoo, where they were most visible to people passing by.  They were using the monkey’s balls as a marketing tactic – and it worked.  All five of us bought tickets and went into the zoo because of the monkeys.  The monkey’s blue nuts were a natural marketing trait to attract female monkeys, but it turns out that they grab humans’ attention, too.

It works like this: as you walk by, you catch a glimpse, and say, ”Wait a minute, is that really a monkey with blue nuts?”  So, you take a closer look, and then you start laughing.  ”Holy smokes, it IS a monkey with blue nuts!”  Then, you tell your friends, and they start laughing too.  Then, you collectively decide that you have to go into the zoo and take a closer look.  I wonder how many times this exact scenario has played out.  They got us – hook, line, and sinker – by putting those monkeys at the front of the zoo where everyone would see them.  They knew exactly what they were doing.  And it worked.

Another time, our group went camping at Las Piedrotas in Tapalpa – which is a rural pueblo in the state of Jalisco.  Las Piedrotas is a rock formation composed of giant boulders set – somewhat mysteriously – in the middle of a giant cow pasture.  The boulders must weigh tens of thousands of pounds, and there are no other rocks like them around.  Nobody knows when or how the boulders got there.  It’s a mystery.  Some people suspect UFOs.

But you can camp at Las Piedrotas, and one weekend our adventure crew went out there to camp.  The first night, we stayed at a friend’s house in a nearby pueblo.  The pueblo was tiny, and I cannot remember its name.  The following morning, as we left to go camping, our friend’s mom heard that we were going camping at Tapalpa and gave us a bunch of extra blankets.  She said we would need them.

We drove out to Las Piedrotas and set up our tent before dark.  We found a flat, level spot next to a rock formation and made ourselves comfortable.  By the time night fell, there was no one around.  Not a soul.  We were in the middle of nowhere.  There was no city noise – no motorcycles, boomboxes, or construction.  None of that.  Just us in the middle of a giant cow field in rural Jalisco.

Our campsite at Las Piedrotas.

We started a campfire and ate the food we brought with us.  It wasn’t long after the sun went down that it started to get cold – and I mean really cold.  Within a couple of hours, we were huddled together inside the tent, packed into our sleeping bags, and freezing together like a box of popsicles.  On top of that, the tent had become wet from humidity, so we were both wet and freezing cold – which made for a rough sleep.  I don’t think I slept a wink.

At one point in the night, I got up to go to the bathroom.  Given that we were in the middle of nowhere, there was no light.  Everything was pitch black.  I couldn’t see where I was going.  I wandered far enough from the tent and was about to pee when I heard something move.

Suddenly, I looked up and realized that I was face to face with a giant cow.  The cow and I both jumped back, startled.  It was so dark that neither of us saw each other until we were literally face to face.

The next morning, when we woke up, it was obvious that something had dug through our trash.  Apparently, the cow had visited the campsite looking for food.  We packed up our campsite and our trash, and left – relieved that the sun was out and that we made it through a freezing-cold night.  If our friend’s mom didn’t give us those extra blankets, I’m not sure what we would have done.  She saved us.

The only photo I have of the cow. Taken in the early morning after we nearly froze in Tapalpa.

In addition to traveling together, we hosted talent shows at the café with the Tuesday Language Group.  There was so much synergy and good energy in the group that it felt like we were going to be together forever.  I hoped that we would.

Me playing the guitar and singing at one of the first talent shows we hosted.

One of the first things that Ana did after we moved in together was buy a car.  It was a small white car shaped like an egg; thus, Ana named it ”El Huevito.”

El Huevito was great because it gave us a lot more freedom to move around.  Before that, I got around primarily by walking and riding my bike.  I would occasionally take a bus, taxi, or moto taxi, but only when it was necessary.  Most of the time, I walked and biked.  Having a car opened up a whole new range of possibilities.

Chapter 4 – Living in Barra de Navidad

It wasn’t long before Ana and I made our first move as a couple.  It wasn’t really voluntary.  The owner of the condo I rented was coming to visit for two months, so that meant my lease was up and I had to leave.

One of the main reasons I moved to Manzanillo was to surf.  However, the waves in Manzanillo typically are not good during December and January – which is when the condo owner was coming.  However, Barra de Navidad – which was a 45-60 minute drive north – was a good place to surf during those months.

So, instead of staying in Manzanillo, Ana and I decided to move to Barra de Navidad for two months until the condo owner left.

First, we needed to find a place.  We drove Ana’s car to Barra de Navidad to find a spot to rent for two months.  Ana didn’t know how to drive a stick shift yet, so I was the driver.

Barra de Navidad is a small, coastal town in Jalisco that has a high population of American and Canadian expats – which makes it more expensive.

The first places we found were out of our price range.  I worked as a writer, but I was making just enough to get by.  I couldn’t cover the rent in that district.  But we kept looking and asking around.  Within a few hours, we had walked the entire town and didn’t find anything (Barra is very small).

I was starting to think it wasn’t meant to be when fate struck.

Ana and I were about to leave Barra without finding a place, when suddenly a lady approached us.  She said she saw us walking around and asked if we were looking for a place to rent.  I said yes.  She directed us to a lady named Carmen.  She said Carmen has a space for rent at fair prices.  She gave us Carmen’s number.  We called Carmen, and soon enough we had found a place to live in Barra de Navidad.

I could hardly believe our good fortune.  Most of the places in Barra de Navidad were way too expensive for us, but now we had just lucked into affordable accommodations.  Life was good.  Hopes were high.  The stars were aligning.  God was smiling at Ana and I.  We were being guided.  The universe was conspiring in our favor.  Everything was meant to be.

Our condo in Barra de Navidad was a tiny, one-room studio built in Carmen’s backyard.  It was separated from Carmen’s house by a tiny pool that was hardly bigger than a jacuzzi.  The studio had a small bathroom and a kitchenette where we could cook.

Space was limited, but we didn’t mind.  Carmen had a covered deck on top of her roof, and I would either work on the roof deck or go to the coffee shop.  I trained every day.  Some days I surfed, some days I swam, some days I did exercises in the laguna, some days I did all of those.

We bought a foam board to teach Ana how to surf, and we went out together a few times, but that was it.  She never really learned.  She said she was scared of the animals and didn’t want to go in the ocean anymore.

One day, I was paddling out next to the jetty when my hand touched something slimy and fish-like underneath the surface of the water.  My first thought was, ‘’Oh.  That wasn’t a rock.’’  Then I paddled with my other hand and touched it again.  Then I thought, ‘’Oh.  It’s big.’’  I had no idea what type of animal was underneath me, but I continued to paddle out as calmly as I could.

Ana had been standing on the jetty watching me, and had a clear view of what happened.  She was watching from above, where she could see what was in the water.  She said she saw a giant stingray, and that’s what I touched when I was paddling out.  It was a little spooky because giant stingrays can be dangerous.

A couple of weeks later, at the same jetty, we saw a crocodile that washed into the ocean from the laguna.  So, I couldn’t tell Ana there were no animals in the water, because there definitely were.

Me in Barra de Navidad. You can see the jetty behind me.

I didn’t keep pushing Ana to learn how to surf.  Surfing is hard.  You have to really want to learn.  I wasn’t going to force it on her.  I was just happy that we were together.  I didn’t really care too much if she surfed or not, although it would have been awesome if she did.

We both had bikes, and sometimes we went for bike rides together.  One time, we took the bikes to a nearby town called Melaque and decided to eat breakfast while we were there.  Only after we finished eating did we realize that neither of us had brought our wallet on the bike ride.  We explained the situation to the restaurant staff, and they were kind enough to let us leave and come back to pay.  Ana left her phone with them to hold as collateral.  We came back, paid, recovered Ana’s phone, and everything was fine.

One of the highlights of living in Barra de Navidad was when I taught Ana how to drive a stick shift.  El Huevito was a stick, and up to that point, she couldn’t drive it.  There was a deserted, paved lot just outside Barra de Navidad, so we went there to learn.  Ana is smart and she learned fast.  By the end of one training session, she figured it out.

We visited some of the places around Barra, like La Culebra and La Manzanilla.  La Manzanilla has a crocodile sanctuary with hundreds of crocodiles up to 12 feet long.  The crazy thing about the sanctuary is that the crocodiles are not enclosed.  They can leave the sanctuary any time they want – such as to snack on pets or small children.  There were stories of crocodiles who had repeatedly escaped to snack on neighborhood pets.  I could hardly believe that they did not enclose the sanctuary.  Get too close, and you just might get eaten.  Something like that would never fly in the United States.  But we weren’t in the United States; we were in Mexico.

Crocodiles in La Manzanilla.

The worst part of living in Barra de Navidad was Christmas.  Usually, I like Christmas.  But I did not like Christmas in Barra de Navidad.  One thing nobody warns you about when you move to Mexico is the noise.  Mexico has completely different standards for what constitutes noise pollution.

In Mexico, it’s acceptable to stay up until 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. – on any night of the week – with your speakers blasting at top volume.  Noise complaints aren’t a thing.  You can call the police and complain, but it won’t do any good.  Neighbor noise is just part of living in Mexico, including music blasting at 4:00 in the morning.

On Christmas Eve, our neighbors stayed up drinking until well after 4:00 a.m., blasting music so loud that you could hear it six blocks away.  I am sensitive to sound when I am trying to fall asleep, and I hate noise.  This made for a very long night.

I was starting to get sick and wanted to get a good night’s rest, which was completely impossible thanks to my neighbors.  Around 4:00 a.m., I went outside and politely asked them to turn the music down, doing my best to control my anger and irritation.  Not surprisingly, they denied my request on the ground that it was ”Nochebuena” (Christmas Eve).

I don’t know what hour they finally shut down the music, but I do know that by 9:00 a.m., a different neighbor woke up and was now blasting their music.  Different neighbor, same problem.  I didn’t sleep a wink all night, and got sick the following day.

Ana’s family came to visit us for Christmas, and I was so sick and tired from not sleeping that I could barely talk.  It was an absolute struggle.  From that day forward, I hated those neighbors.

Unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the noise complaints.  At the time we moved in, I asked Carmen if the place was quiet.  She assured me that it was.  If anyone knew, it was her.  She had been living there for decades.

The house to our left was a couple who didn’t party or make much noise.  The house to our right was a rental unit that was always vacant.  I thought these would make great neighbors for the next couple of months while we stayed in Barra.  I was wrong.  Soon after we moved in, the neighbor on the right – the rental unit that had been empty for years – suddenly decided to start a major construction project.  So, just like that, my peace and quiet at home were blown to smithereens.

I am a professional writer.  Writing is my livelihood.  And writing requires focus.  When outside noise breaks my focus, I become angry and irritated, as though someone is stripping me of my livelihood – because to some extent, they are.

When the neighbor started doing construction from sunup to sundown, it essentially made the condo unlivable for me.  On my best day, I do not tolerate noise well.  When I am stressed out, noise makes me insane – especially when I am trying to work.

So, I didn’t spend much time at home for the rest of our stay.  Instead, I worked at coffee shops (fortunately, there are several in Barra de Navidad) and spent the rest of my time surfing or training in the lagoon.

The locals always assured me that there were no crocodiles in the lagoon, but I could never be 100% certain.

Chapter 5 – My Boy Elvis

Once the owner of the condo in Manzanillo left, we moved back into the exact spot we had left to move to Barra.  I was happy to be back, and even happier to be relieved of the neighbor’s construction noise in Barra.  The Tuesday Language Group continued in my absence for the two months I was gone, thanks to Santiago.

Santiago was a regular at the Tuesday Language Group, and we were lucky to have him.  Santiago is an English teacher with an excellent command of both English and Spanish.  Although he was still young – in his early twenties – Santiago already had a wealth of experience.  He was from Manzanillo, but had been studying English since he was a kid and even received a scholarship to live in the U.S. and study there.

It was an absolute blessing to have Santiago in the group because of his experience and commitment to showing up every week.  Santiago took over management of the group while I was gone – sending out the discussion prompts each Monday, and showing up at the café each Tuesday for the meeting.

Thus, when Ana and I arrived back in Manzanillo, the Tuesday Language Group was still going strong.  Maybe even stronger than ever – thanks to Santiago.  Once I got back to Manzanillo, I immediately started going to the meetings again and split management responsibilities with Santiago.  Instead of one leader, the group now had two – which only made it stronger.

One day, I left the café after our group meeting and found Ana outside waiting to pick me up.  She seemed excited and said she had a surprise in the car.  My interest was piqued, but I had no idea what to expect.

We walked to the car, and when I opened the door, I found a small white dog – skinny, sick, and scared.  It was the first time I met my new best friend.

Ana had rescued the dog from the street after he was almost run over by a car.  We took him home and cleaned him up.  There were bugs in his fur, so I picked them out one by one with tweezers.  He didn’t like it, but he seemed to instinctively know that I was helping him, and let me remove the bugs from his body.  Then, we took him to the vet to vaccinate him and check his health.

After getting his shots and being cleared by the vet, we took the dog home.

We named him Elvis, and his name suited him perfectly.  He was extremely playful, loved being the center of attention, and loved women and female dogs.

Elvis will always hold an extra special place in my heart because he made us a family.  Before Elvis arrived, Ana and I were a couple.  Now, we were a family—man, woman, and dog.

My boy Elvis.

Chapter 6 – Traveling in Chiapas with Ana: Tuxtla

Elvis had only been living with us for a few days when Ana and I left to visit Chiapas for a week.  Elvis was still sick and recovering, and we didn’t want to leave him, but we had planned the trip months earlier.  It was too late to cancel.

Fortunately, we had two friends who were willing to take care of Elvis while Ana and I were in Chiapas.  Jake and Dan had a house a few blocks from our condo – with an enclosed yard – which was perfect because it would give Elvis space to run around outside without being in danger.

Even better, Jake and Dan had a female dog, Sammy, who got along great with Elvis.  Elvis and Sammy were great friends, so we could rest assured knowing that Elvis would be happy spending a few days with Sammy  – with a nice, big yard to play in.

Elvis and Sammy.

Ana and I chose to visit Chiapas because of its natural beauty.  Ana and I loved to adventure in nature, and Chiapas was a great place to do that.  One of the first places we visited was Cañón del Sumidero, which is an enormous canyon with a river running through it.  The canyon walls are as tall as 3,000 feet.  It’s spectacular to see.

A view of Cañon Sumidero from the water.

We took a boat ride through the canyon, and the boat driver was careful not to get too close to the canyon walls.  If even a small rock were to fall from the cliff, it could kill someone because the cliffs are so high.

When we were there, part of the canyon was closed due to a landslide that happened days earlier – so the risk of falling debris from the canyon walls was real.  Nonetheless, the boat ride was picturesque and thoroughly enjoyable.  It was one of the highlights of the trip.

After the boat ride, we got into a van which took us up a windy mountain road to the top of the cliffs.  There is a lookout point at the top of Cañón del Sumidero that is so high up that you are actually in the clouds, looking down on the canyon that is thousands of feet tall.  It was an incredible experience.  However, the road to get there was high, narrow, curvy, and treacherous.  We had a professional driver who had driven the road many, many times.  I’m not sure I would want to drive up there myself.

Views of Cañon Sumidero from above.

We stayed in the city of Tuxtla Gutiérrez, which is the capital and largest city in Chiapas.  It’s a bustling, walkable city with lots of shops, restaurants, bars, and cafes.  There were more tourists than I was expecting.  Many children were walking around the streets begging for money, mostly from the tourists.  It was quite uncomfortable, frankly.  Aside from the kids begging for money, it’s a very nice city.

One of the things to do in Tuxtla Gutiérrez is to go to the Marimba Park, which has live music daily.  The marimba is a musical instrument native to southern Mexico and Guatemala.  It is essentially a big xylophone, and gives the music native to this region a distinctive sound.  You can go to the Marimba Park every evening to listen to music and dance (or watch other people dance).

One of my favorite parts of Tuxtla Gutiérrez was the zoo, called Zoomat, which has all kinds of exotic animals – big cats, reptiles, birds, rodents, you name it.  As we walked around Zoomat, we kept hearing a fierce roar that sounded like it was from a lion or a tiger.  The roar frankly made me nervous because I wasn’t sure how well the animals were enclosed.  After seeing that the alligators in La Manzanilla were not enclosed, I couldn’t be 100% sure.

Entrance of the Zoomat in Chiapas.

Thus, I asked one of the park rangers where the sound was coming from.  He told us it was not a lion or tiger, at all – but was howler monkeys.  Then he pointed up into the trees and, sure enough, there were a bunch of monkeys moving about freely in the trees above us.  He told us that the monkeys are not enclosed and are free to roam through the zoo or leave at their will.  The monkeys were surprisingly small for the powerful noise they made.  It was hard to believe that a monkey so small could make a sound as ferocious as a lion or tiger.  It was an amazing natural defense mechanism.

We were only a couple of days into our trip when we got a message from Jake and Dan saying that Elvis was sick and had to go to the vet.  Elvis was anemic and malnourished when we found him, and he got sick while Ana and I were in Chiapas.  Thankfully, we have great friends like Jake and Dan who took Elvis to the vet and cared for him while we were gone.  Ana and I were very worried about Elvis, but we also knew that he was in good hands with Jake and Dan.

Chapter 7 – Traveling in Chiapas with Ana: Palenque

One of the many highlights of the Chiapas trip was Palenque.  Going into the trip, we weren’t even sure that we would make it to Palenque.  Palenque is an 8-hour bus ride from the nearest city and is in the middle of the jungle.  Furthermore, the roads are dangerous thanks to foreign gangs that hang out in the jungle to kidnap, extort, and rob passersby – especially tourists.  Thus, tour buses and vans were escorted into the area by police.

I am fascinated by Mayan culture and history, and felt that the trip would not be complete unless we went to Palenque.  So, we bought a bus ticket and made the journey.  The drive out to Palenque – although long – was very scenic.  We passed through farmlands and parts of rural Chiapas before reaching the jungle, where Palenque is located.

We had plenty of time on the bus ride, and one of the things I did was watch an Adele concert on the bus television.  After that, I had Adele’s music and voice stuck in my head for the whole rest of the trip – which was not a bad thing.  I have a whole new appreciation for Adele now.  I’m a big fan.

When we finally arrived in Palenque, we checked into our hotel.  One of the first things I noticed was that a lot of the signs were written in Mayan language, along with Spanish.  There are parts of southern Mexico and Guatemala where the people don’t speak English or Spanish, only their Mayan language.  In these areas, the kids typically learn Spanish at school and speak their Mayan language at home.

Indigenous culture and tradition are still very alive in Mexico, including the languages.

Another thing I noticed is that the people native to their area looked exactly like the Mayans in Mayan artwork.  Their features are purely indigenous – no European blood.  You see many people with dark skin, a broad/elongated nose, ellipse-shaped eyes, and full/pursed lips – as though they had walked right off of a Mayan mural and come to life.

Mayan artwork. There are many people in Chiapas who look just like the man depicted in this mural.

Southern Mexico is still deeply rooted in indigenous culture, as opposed to other parts of Mexico (like northern Mexico and the major cities) that are more westernized.  In Southern Mexico and Guatemala, there are still thriving communities of people living the old ways.  It’s a special place, and it is deeply spiritual.  You can’t help but feel deeply in touch with the spirit of the jungle and with your own humanity.

The hotel where we stayed had a semi-indoor pool with a high, vaulted ceiling that enclosed the entire hotel and the pool space.  The metal ceiling created an echo, so you could hear everything that happened in the hotel.  It seemed to amplify every sound.  The acoustics would have been great for a concert, but not so great while you’re trying to sleep.  People partying at the pool kept me up most of the night.  Such is life in Mexico.

I sense that most people who grew up in Mexico are used to the noise, and it doesn’t bother them as much.  But for people who didn’t grow up there, and aren’t used to the noise, it can make you absolutely crazy.  The noise has driven me insane on more than one occasion, especially while I am trying to sleep.

Some people don’t understand why I’m so bothered by the noise.  Honestly, good for them.  I wish I were as unbothered by it as they are, but I’m not – and I probably never will be.  They got accustomed to it in their formative years – I didn’t – and at this point, it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

So, once again, I did not sleep well.  However, visiting the archeological site the following day made the long bus ride and sleepless night worth it.

Palenque is one of the biggest and most complete Mayan archaeological sites in all of Mexico.  People who study Mayan culture come from around the world to visit and pay homage.  There are pyramids, plazas, temples, ball courts, walls, and all kinds of other structures.  We had an absolutely glorious time walking around the site, taking in the sights, and snapping photos.

A Mayan temple at Palenque.

Only a small portion of Palenque is open to the public.  The rest is closed – unless you have a guide.  When you approach the entrance, you’ll find several professional guides standing out front.  They come up to you and offer their services.  Some of them are very experienced, have deep knowledge about Palenque, and charge a lot.  Others of them are kids, who charge less and don’t have quite as much detailed knowledge, but they can still take you behind the ropes to go adventuring in places that are off limits without a guide.

Mayan Ruins at Palenque.

As we approached the entrance, several people greeted me.  I am white, with long hair, which makes me look like an obvious tourist/sales target.  As such, I was greeted by guides, gift vendors, and more than one person selling magic mushrooms.

When we arrived that day, I was not planning on taking mushrooms – or being offered mushrooms – but when in Rome.  I was down for an enhanced experience, so I took some mushrooms that a vendor sold me in a small plastic bag.

We hired a guide who took us through some trails in the jungle and into parts of the site that are not open to the public.  He taught us about the plants and animals, answered our questions, and took us to some secret spots.  At one point, I found a Tarzan-like vine hanging down from the trees and climbed it.  Given that we had a guide who knew his way around, it was a perfect environment to take mushrooms.

After our hike with the guide, we ended up back in the main part of the archeological site.  I still had about half a bag of mushrooms left, so I found a spot where I thought I was alone.  I discreetly pulled out my plastic baggy and ate some more mushrooms.

That’s when disaster struck.  Suddenly, a young man in a yellow shirt – who apparently was a park ranger – came running over from about 100 yards away and demanded to see what I was eating.  I was caught off guard.  I was sitting alone, minding my own business, and had not been expecting such an aggressive interrogation.  Nonetheless, I remained calm – not wanting to cause a scene.

I could tell the guy wasn’t going to let it go, and I didn’t want to escalate the situation, so I ended up turning over the rest of the mushrooms – which was about a quarter of the bag.  By this time, Ana had come over to help me, and we had him outnumbered – explaining that I had done nothing wrong.  The truth is I hadn’t done anything wrong – I was minding my own business.

The young man explained that mushrooms are illegal in Mexico, and that they had problems with people taking substances inside the park and getting out of control – such as by climbing the pyramids (which is strongly prohibited) and screaming at the top of their lungs.  Doing such things is deeply disrespectful, and I wouldn’t do something like that under any circumstances.

I calmly explained that I was just there to walk around and would never do anything like that.  Ana backed me up.  I was calm, apologetic, and respectful to him.  I listened to what he said.  He was doing his job – protecting the park itself and keeping it free from idiots.  It’s an important job.  I have a lot of respect for it.  I was not trying to give him a hard time.

Eventually, he realized that I was not going to be a troublemaker and let me go without further incident.  However, he did not give the rest of the mushrooms back – which made me a little sore because I had paid for them.

In the end, I was just glad he didn’t decide to call the police and have me arrested.  The thought crossed my mind that he might.  Thankfully, his judgment was good enough to realize that I wasn’t going to be a problem.

We walked around the park for a couple more hours.  I was a little bit rattled after the interrogation.  However, I still enjoyed myself enough to come back again the next day.

The jungle at Palenque.

In addition to the archeological site, Palenque also has a museum with authentic Mayan artifacts such as sculptures, paintings, murals, figurines, pottery, and utensils.  I love art and history, and I’m fascinated by Mayan culture, so I loved visiting the museum.

When we returned to the archeological site the following day, Ana was able to enter for free because she had her wristband from the day before – and because she is Mexican.  I had my wristband from the day before, but I’m not Mexican, so I had to pay again.  No local discount for me.  Oh well, it was worth it.

There are two lessons here:

1. If you are ever in Chiapas, Palenque is worth the trip.
2. If you decide to take mushrooms, make absolutely sure no one sees you do it.

More ruins at Palenque.

Chapter 8 – Traveling in Chiapas with Ana: San Cristóbal

There are lots of things to do in Chiapas other than visit Palenque.  For one, Chiapas has several spectacular waterfalls such as the Misol Há, Las Cascadas de Agua Azul, and El Chiflón.  Ana and I visited all three of those.

Misol Há waterfall.

Cascadas de Agua Azul.

A small section of El Chiflon.

We also visited the city of San Cristóbal de las Casas, which is considered the cultural center of Chiapas and is known for its well-preserved colonial architecture.  One of my favorite parts of San Cristóbal was El Arcotete – a nature preserve with an extensive cave system, incredible rock formations, hiking, horseback riding, and other outdoor activities like rock climbing and ziplining.

Horseback riding at El Arcotete.

Another one of my favorite parts of San Cristóbal was Las Grutas de Rancho Nuevo, which is an extensive network of underground caves.  The caves feature icicle-shaped rock formations that grow up from the ground (stalagmites) and down from the ceiling (stalactites).  The rock formations developed over thousands or hundreds of thousands of years, and you are strictly forbidden from touching them because the oils on your fingers could damage them.

Underground caves at Grutas de Rancho Nuevo.

One of the final stops of our journey was the Lagos de Montebello, which is an immaculate system of lakes on the border between Mexico and Guatemala.  It’s literally right on the border, and you can cross into Guatemala without going through customs.  On the Guatemala side of the park, there is an amazing local artist called Nitrous Beto who operates his studio there.  Much of his work is nature-themed, incorporating painted canvas along items collected from nature – like tree branches.

Lagos de Montebello.

The lakes are part of a national park that is carefully protected – there’s not a single piece of trash in sight, which makes the place feel magical and untouched.  There’s a reason Nitrous Beto chose to set up shop there.

Lagos de Montebello. The string in the middle of the lagoon is the international border between Mexico and Guatemala.

We went for a ride around the lakes in a rowboat, and bought the best chocolate I have ever had in my life – which is really saying something because I have a sweet tooth.

If you ever go to Chiapas, you must try the locally made chocolate.  I bought a big package to bring home with me.  I have not had chocolate that good before or since.  Talking about it right now makes us want to go back just for the chocolate.

In Chiapas, the locally grown coffee and locally made chocolate are second to none.

Chapter 9 – Traveling in Columbia: Medellín

When Ana and I returned from Chiapas, we picked up Elvis, brought him home, and settled into being a family together.

We weren’t home for long before Ana and I were already planning our next trip.  This time, we decided on Columbia.

One day, Ana told me that Memo, Rafa, and María were coming to Columbia with us.  This was a surprise to me because we had not discussed it previously.  I was planning on going to Columbia with just Ana and I.

I was apprehensive about going in a group.  I had travelled internationally before in groups and knew how quickly it could get complicated, even in small groups.  When traveling in a group, tasks like being on time, deciding where to go, choosing where to eat, and maintaining communication become more challenging than when traveling alone or with just one other person.

I felt like being in a group would slow the trip down, and I had been excited to go just Ana and I.  I had reservations about going as a group, but I didn’t want to be selfish.  If everyone wanted to go, then who was I to tell them they couldn’t?  Plus, Ana seemed excited that they were coming.  So, I said fuck it – we’ll go as a group.  I didn’t want to be a party pooper.

We started the trip in Medellín, a sprawling metropolis located in a valley and surrounded by mountains.  The city is built upon rugged hills with steep inclines.  One of the most striking things about Medellín is how green it is.  It is a metropolitan city with all the things you would expect to see in a metropolis.  However, it’s located in the middle of the jungle.  There are trees and plants everywhere.  I got the feeling that if Medellín were suddenly abandoned, the jungle would swallow it up in less than a year.

A view of Medellín.

Medellín has many high-rise buildings, and seemingly all of the buildings are built out of the same red bricks.  The hills and mountains of Medellín give it spectacular views, and there are many inspiring lookout points throughout the city.

The landscape of Medellín is so hilly and vertical that they installed a metro cable, which is a gondola system that operates like a ski lift.  Ana and I took the metro cable all over the city and soaked in the glorious views.

View from the metro cable in Medellín.

The metro cable was a welcome relief from the streets.  I’m pretty sure the streets of Medellín are the most chaotic streets I have ever encountered anywhere in the world, including Thailand.  You have to have your head on a swivel at all times.  You especially have to watch out for motorcycles, which may be swerving through traffic or driving down the sidewalk.  They have traffic rules, but only God knows who is enforcing them.  The streets and sidewalks were crowded and not well organized.  Walking around Medellín is not relaxing.  You have to be focused and aware of everything that is going on around you – all of the time.

You also have to be aware of where you are.  If you take one wrong turn, you can find yourself in a very unsafe neighborhood.  On public transportation and in most of the main thoroughfares, I did not feel like safety was an issue.  But I don’t consider Medellín a good place to wander aimlessly because you don’t have to walk too far to find yourself in a scary neighborhood.  I got lost a couple of times and had to make some very quick U-turns.

One of our favorite parts of Medellín was El Castillo Museum, a castle constructed in 1930 in medieval Gothic style by Medellín’s first architecture firm.  Today, it serves as a museum and art center that gives a glimpse into how the ultra-wealthy lived in 20^th-century Medellín.

El Castillo in Medellín

El Castillo sits in a big, immaculately manicured garden.  There are fountains and a wide variety of trees and plants.  The site also contains a school dedicated to the arts.

Garden at El Castillo.

Another one of our favorite parts of Medellín was Comuna 13, which was one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Medellín—and in the world—until a special military operation in 2002, which freed it from the grips of combating gangs and paramilitaries.  Before that, it was a literal war zone.

Comuna 13 is set high up in the hills, and before the installation of cable cars and escalators, it was not easily accessible.  The area was too difficult and dangerous for law enforcement to enter, and the gangs and militias operated with impunity.  Murder, kidnapping, and disappearances were part of daily life.

Streets of Comuna 13 in the rain.

Now, Comuna 13 is a thriving art district that is home to muralists, poets, singers, rappers, break dancers, clothing designers, and other types of creators.  The streets and walkways of Comuna 13 are lined with stands and shops selling art, merch, accessories, food, and clothes.  Comuna 13 attracts tourists from all over the world and is one of the most visited tourist sites in all of Medellín.

Ana and I enjoyed walking around Comuna 13, shopping for gifts and souvenirs, and watching the street artists perform.

Chapter 10 – Traveling in Columbia: Coffee Country

From Medellín, we went to Salento  – a rural area in coffee country.  The drives were scenic, but also hectic.  There was major construction happening on many of the roads, and we got stuck in some serious traffic jams.  We got stuck in the van for hours a few times, in standstill traffic.  At one point, our entire group was sick in the car at the same time, which was rough.

Countryside in Salento

However, the countryside in Columbia is very scenic.  It’s very green with lots of mountains.  The traffic jams were rough, but as long as we were moving, the rides were enjoyable thanks to the views.

Columbian hillside.

We passed through Salento on the way to Filandia.  In Columbian coffee country, there are several small towns that you can visit.  Not surprisingly, they cater to tourists.  One such place is Filandia, a great place to go hiking and immerse yourself in nature.

View from the lookout tower in Filandia, Columbia.

Filandia.

On my birthday, we visited Piedra el Peñol – a 656-foot-high granite rock that towers above the surrounding lakes.  You reach the top by taking a narrow, claustrophobic staircase that was overcrowded when we went.  At any given time, hundreds of people were going up and down the staircase – which in some places is barely wide enough for three people to fit.  The whole time, I was thinking about what a nightmare it would be if there were a fire or some kind of emergency where people had to get down the steps quickly.  Yikes.

Piedrota el Peñol

But once you get to the top of Piedra el Peñol, you are rewarded with panoramic views of the lakes and Columbian countryside.

Top of Piedrota El Peñol

Another view from the top of Piedrota El Peñol.

We did a lot of other things in Columbia too: we visited parks and eco-reserves, went on hikes and boat rides, encountered some of Pablo Escobar’s former hideouts (apparently, he had hundreds throughout Columbia), and tried the local food – even though none of us were impressed by it.

One odd thing about Columbia is that it was hard to find dishes with vegetables.  We were on the move a lot, which meant we were eating out, and the dishes didn’t include vegetables.  If we wanted vegetables, we had to make them ourselves at home.

One time, we were eating in a restaurant and I asked them for a salad.  The waiter looked at me, confused.  I had to explain to him what a salad was.  When he brought my salad, it was a tiny little thing that was hardly bigger than the cups you use for ketchup and condiments.  For whatever reason, Columbian cuisine is not big on vegetables.

At one point, we decided to bathe in a thermal hot spring.  I did not bring a bathing suit, so I went into town to see if I could find one.  After going to every clothing store I could find, I managed to find only one bathing suit.  It was skin-tight and hardly bigger than a Speedo.  You could see everything.  I have never worn a bathing suit like that before or since, but that’s what I wore to the thermal hot springs.  We were not the only people there.  It was pretty crowded.  I just had to get used to being seen.

There were points during the trip where I felt the group was slowing us down.  They wanted to rest, but I didn’t.  When I travel, I want to see and do everything I possibly can to make the most of my time there.  Resting in the hotel room is not my idea of a good time.  I can walk for miles every day, and would much rather do that and see everything there is to see.

Ana was sort of the middle-man between me and the rest of the group, coordinating what they wanted to do with what I wanted to do.  It made a lot of extra work for her.  Going into the trip, I had a feeling that was going to happen, and I was not surprised to see how things played out.  Even when you are good friends with the people you travel with, it can be hard to keep everyone on the same page.  This caused extra stress for Ana and I.  The others probably felt the same way.

Also, Ana was working during the trip.  She is an accountant and was handling her work responsibilities while we travelled.  Between traveling, working, and coordinating everyone’s plans, she was essentially working non-stop.  It must have been exhausting, but she never complained.  She was very patient with me and with everyone else.  She deserved a medal.

She said after the trip that it was stressful and a lot for her to manage.  Only after she mentioned it did I bring up the reservations I had going into the trip.  I didn’t say anything earlier because I wanted to at least give things a shot – but ultimately, they played out the way I thought they would.

I still had a great time, but Ana was understandably stressed out being the group mom and coordinating everyone’s plans.  It was a good trip, but it would have been even better if Ana hadn’t had to work the entire time.  She could have enjoyed it a lot more.

Nonetheless, it was a fun adventure.  Ana must have been relieved when we made it home.

Scenic Columbian countryside.

Chapter 11 – Maya Arrives

By this time, Elvis was healthy again, and he had come into his own as an energetic, fun-loving little dog.  Ana and I both worked from home, which was great because we got to spend a lot of time together, but Elvis was always begging for attention.  He wanted to play constantly.  To this day, he is the most playful dog I have ever met.  He will play for hours and never get tired of it.

As much as Ana and I loved playing with Elvis, we still had to handle our work responsibilities.  But Elvis is a chihuahua/jack terrier mix with bounding energy and an insatiable appetite for playtime.  We decided that Elvis needed a playmate.

One day, Ana sent me a photo of a skinny, sand-colored female dog with sad eyes.  Ana asked if she could bring her home, and I said yes without reservation.  We had been wanting another dog to play with Elvis.

The first photo Tere sent me of Maya.

When the dog got home, Elvis was ecstatic.  He could not wait to play with his new friend.  But the new dog was not ready.  She was malnourished, sickly, had a small cut on her head, and her ears were infected with some type of horrible bugs.  She also had worms in her stomach.  The poor little dog had been suffering horribly.

Her ears looked extremely painful, so we took her to the vet right away.  The vet cleaned her ears and administered the necessary medications to eliminate the parasites from her stomach.  With a few good meals and a lot of love, the little sand-colored dog was feeling better in no time.

We decided to call her Maya, partially because we liked the name and partially as an homage to the Mayan culture – which I was still enamored with from our trip to Palenque.

So, now our family had grown again—Ana and I with our two dogs, Elvis and Maya.  I was completely in love with Ana and with our dogs.  I was probably the happiest I have ever been.

Maya and I right after we got her.

However, life was not without difficulties.  For one, we couldn’t figure out how to potty train Maya.  We lived on the fourth floor of a condo building and took the dogs down several times per day to do their business.  Elvis learned quickly not to pee or poop in the house, but Maya did not learn so fast.  Ana and I spent a lot of time cleaning up her messes.

Eventually, Maya learned that she was not supposed to go to the bathroom in the house – so she would only do it when no one was looking, or at night while Ana and I were sleeping.  It was commonplace to find accidents in the house.

Eventually, Maya stopped going to the bathroom on the floor during the day, but she would still do it at night.  She never learned how to hold it all night.  She continued to pee or poop on the floor every night for years.  Ana and I have cleaned up hundreds of her accidents.  But we would never think of giving her away because we loved her too much.  Instead, we started thinking about getting a house with a yard.  Boy, would that make our lives easier.

One time, we tried to teach Maya how to use the bathroom on a potty pad.  We placed the potty pad in the spot where Maya usually did her business in the house at night, when no one was watching.  Instead of using the pad as intended, she peed on the floor right next to it and then pooped on the floor on the other side.  The pad itself was completely spotless – squeaky clean.  She didn’t get one drop on the pad.  That was the first and last time we tried to use the pad.

However, Maya’s accidents weren’t the only problem.  Ana and I’s spark in the bedroom had died.  Looking back now, I understand better what happened, but at the time I didn’t understand why.  It seemed like neither of us was attracted to each other.  We were best friends.  We did everything together.  We both worked at home on our computers together.  We ran all of our errands together.  We slept in the same bed.  We were together pretty much all of the time, except for the hour or two each day that I would go to work out.  We were still very much in love, but there was no physical intimacy.  I didn’t understand why, and didn’t know how to talk about it.  I was embarrassed.

It’s not that I wasn’t interested in sex.  I very much was.  I just wasn’t interested in sex with the person I was with, even though I loved her dearly.  After months of having no action in the bedroom, Ana brought it up to me.  But I didn’t know what to say.  I didn’t know why it was happening or what to do about it.  So, I just kind of ignored it.  I didn’t change anything.  I didn’t reach out to anyone.  I just kept right on being the fool that I was—big mistake.

Chapter 12 – Tragedy Strikes

One week, I went home to visit my family in San Diego.  My parents and my brother all live in San Diego, but nobody had space in their home for me, so I stayed in a hotel nearby.  One day, I was outside the hotel in the parking lot when I got a call that I never imagined I would get.

It was Ana.  She told me that her younger brother was murdered.

Manzanillo is a major pipeline for the trans-Pacific drug trade, and it is a known fact that the cartels operate here.  Everyone who lives here knows someone killed by cartel-related activities.  Nonetheless, you never expect it to hit that close to home.

Ana is the one who identified her brother at the morgue and had the responsibility of telling her family what happened.  Given that I was in San Diego and she was in Manzanillo, there wasn’t too much that I could do other than be there for her on the phone.  But our conversation wasn’t long.  She had to tend to her family and prepare for the funeral.

I was deeply distraught, but I didn’t say anything to my family.  I didn’t want to worry them.  Instead, I talked to a couple of my most trusted friends and did my best to support Ana.

By the time I got back to Manzanillo, they had already had the funeral and put Ana’s brother in the ground.

One thing I learned about Ana from that experience is that she is incredibly strong mentally and emotionally.

I had a lot of questions about what happened, but I didn’t ask.  I thought the wound was still too fresh, and I didn’t put Ana through any additional pain.  Looking back now, I think that was a mistake.  I think I should have asked the questions and opened up the conversations, even though they might have been difficult.

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my relationship with Ana was not having difficult conversations.  Not talking about the intimacy issues.  Not talking about what happened with her brother.  I was setting a bad precedent that was sure to come back to bite me, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.

Chapter 13 – Our House Becomes A Zoo

With two dogs and four turtles, Ana and I had our hands full with the animals.  We lived on the fourth floor of our condo, so we had to take the dogs down the stairs 4-5 times a day to use the bathroom – this could really add up in terms of time and energy.  Both dogs were energetic and would pull hard on the leash.

Maya and Elvis.

Leash-pulling may not seem like a big problem because the dogs were small, but their low center of gravity meant the pulling put a lot of stress on my neck, shoulders, and back.  I have had chronic neck and back pain for years, and the leash pulling only made it worse.  Thus, Ana was often the one to take the dogs down, though I did my share.

The turtles required less maintenance, but there was still the chore of cleaning their enclosure regularly.  It was not fun or easy, and we always had to be careful not to break the glass.

Ana loves animals, which is one of my favorite things about her.  It’s a trait that she seems to get from her mom.  Ana’s mom has at least 14 cats and two dogs.  Her yard is practically an animal refuge.

There are a lot of street cats and dogs in Mexico, and they are always procreating – creating more street cats and dogs.  Ana’s mom has a huge heart for animals.  She rescues them, providing food, veterinary care, sterilization, and a place to live – despite the significant cost.  Ana inherited this characteristic.

One time, we found a bird’s nest that had fallen out of a tree.  Some of the baby birds died from the fall, but two of them survived.  Ana rescued the two survivors, put them into a blanket, brought them home, and tried to nurse them back to health.  The two birds survived for a couple of days, but then died almost at the same time.  I think that when one died, the other decided that it was his time to die, too.

Although the rescue attempt wasn’t successful, you can start to see the type of person that Ana is.  That’s how we wound up with three cats, in addition to the two dogs and four turtles.

There was a female cat in our condo building named Bruja (which means ‘’witch’’ in Spanish).  Someone visited our condo building on vacation and abandoned her here.  The building manager and some of the tenants gave Bruja food and water, and she became the building’s unofficial mascot.  She became known throughout the neighborhood, and it was the neighborhood kids who named her Bruja.

Bruja was not spayed, and unsurprisingly got pregnant, as unsterilized street cats often do.  When her kittens were born, everyone in the neighborhood came to see them.  But the kittens never had a home.  They lived outside with Bruja and soon died.  The rumor was that a neighbor’s dog killed them.  It was a sad reminder of the brutal realities for street animals.

However, Bruja soon got pregnant again and had three more kittens.  This time, Ana was not going to let them die.  She took an empty box and filled it with towels to make a bed for Bruja and her kittens.  Then she placed the bed right outside our condo unit, where it was protected from other animals by the metal gate on the first floor.  Thus, Bruja had a safe, cozy place to nurse her newborn kittens.

Bruja nursing Katrina and Marley.

However, we still had to keep a lookout for them.  One time, I had to chase away a pit bull that had snuck in through the gate and was looking to eat the kittens.  I just happened to be right there at the time.  If I had arrived five seconds later, the kittens probably would have been eaten.

But the neighborhood dogs weren’t the only issue.  The neighbors also started complaining about the box being in a common area (even though it was only a small box).  The building manager soon told us we could no longer keep the kittens there.

We did our best to find homes for the kittens, which was not easy.  There is much more supply than demand.  We placed ads on social media and reached out to everyone in the neighborhood to see if we could find them a home.

We successfully found a home for one of the kittens.  A renter who was visiting our condo on vacation adopted one of the kittens with his son and took it home.  This was a great success, but we still had Bruja and two more kittens.

The kittens were already growing up and were able to walk around and play with each other.  Ana wasn’t about to put them back out on the street to die, so we adopted them.  Bruja was still nursing them, and we adopted them together as a package.  The two kittens were females.  We named them Marley and Katrina.

Having a mama cat, two kittens, two puppies, and four turtles in our small condo was chaos.

Elvis absolutely loved the two kittens.  To him, they were like plush toys that came to life.  He chased them all over the house, to the point where Maya was getting jealous because Elvis was more inAnasted in the kittens than in her.  We let Elvis play with the kittens because he wasn’t too rough with them.

Elvis also tried to play with Bruja, but Bruja was not having it.  The mama cat liked to have her own space, and she let Elvis know it.  Elvis learned quickly not to mess with Bruja.

Maya didn’t take much interest in the cats, and was more focused on Elvis – and her food.  Of all the animals in the house, Maya loved her food the most of anyone.  That is one thing about her that never changed.  What did change was her size.

When we got Maya, she was small and skinny – about the same size as Elvis.  But once we adopted her, she filled out from the good meals and started to grow.  She only got slightly taller, but she grew longways – like a hot dog.  Before long, she was two or three times Elvis’ size and could take him in their wrestling matches.

Elvis was still the boss of the house, and let the other animals know it, but neither Maya nor Bruja would take too much guff from him.  Maya’s size and Bruja’s claws kept Elvis from being too much of a bully.  Elvis was more focused on the kittens, anyway.  He absolutely loved chasing them around.

Having all those animals in the house was fun, but it was also a lot of work.  For one, there was hair everywhere – all the time.  We would sweep the floor and the living room, and by the next day, the condo would once again be covered in clumps of hair.

Then, there were the accidents.  The cats were very good about doing their business in the litter box, but Maya was still struggling to be potty-trained.  She was still doing her business inside the house almost every night, with occasional stealth strikes during the day.  We had to keep the doors closed so that Maya could not be alone.  If she thought she was alone, she was liable to go pee or poop on the floor.

There were also trips to the vet.  Elvis once got stung by a scorpion and had to be rushed to the vet for antivenom.  Fortunately, the vet was just around the corner from our house and was open at the time it happened.  The vet told us that small dogs like Elvis can die within 10 minutes of being stung by a scorpion.  Thank God Elvis was okay.

Elvis at the vet after getting stung by a scorpion.

Elvis’ scorpion sting.

Then, there were trips to the animal hospital for sterilization.  We got all the animals sterilized for obvious reasons.  We could not possibly house any more animals in our little condo.

At some point, it became too much, and we decided to return the turtles to the store where we bought them.  I didn’t ask for or expect a refund.  I just gifted the turtles back to the store.  The store was happy to take them.

However, we still had three cats and two energetic dogs, which was quite a handful.

Chapter 14 – We Move Again

The following year, the owner of the condo came to visit (again), and we had to move (again).

This time, we decided to find a place where we could live year-round without having to move.  We still didn’t have much furniture of our own, but moving was still becoming tiresome.  Plus, now we had two dogs and three cats – which made finding a place more complicated because many places do not accept pets.

We decided to stay in Manzanillo and searched the entire city.  It was essential to me that we live close enough to the beach to go surfing, which meant that rents were high pretty much everywhere we looked.  Even the places that weren’t close to the beach were expensive.  Just living in a coastal area is expensive, even if you’re not near the beach.

We were hoping to find a place with a yard, or at least one on the first floor, so we wouldn’t have to take the dogs up and down the stairs several times a day.  We looked around for weeks but couldn’t find a place we were in love with.  It was starting to become stressful.

Finally, I asked the building manager of our current condo, Paco, if there were any other units for rent.  He said yes, and showed us the unit immediately next door to ours.  The unit next door offered more space because we could remove the beds from the second bedroom and create an office/gym/studio for me.  Up to that point, I didn’t have a dedicated space of my own, and it was becoming overcrowded with all the animals.  Having my own space would allow me to work much more efficiently and with much less distraction.

We were still going to be on the fourth floor, which meant we would have to keep taking the dogs up and down the stairs, but at least we would have more space and remain close to the beach.

So, after searching the entire city of Manzanillo for the perfect spot, we ended up moving to the condo unit right next door.  The good news is that it made moving a lot easier.

We took the beds out of the second bedroom, and I built out my studio.  I was ecstatic to have my own space to work.  I felt like I had made it in the world.

However, the pets continued to be a handful, even though I had my own workspace.  The cats – although playful, curious, and adorable – were destroying things.  They damaged the foam surfboard we bought for Ana and also scratched up the traction pad on my surfboard, which I use every day.  I was not happy about this.

Although the furniture in the house wasn’t ours, I didn’t want it to get destroyed, so we ended up giving the cats away to Ana’s mom.  They were much better off at Ana’s mom’s house, where they had an entire yard to play and run around.  It was better for the cats and better for Ana and I.  Thankfully, Ana’s mom was willing to take them.

I liked the cats, and I missed them, but it was much less stressful without them.  Elvis is the one who missed the cats the most.  The two little kittens, who had previously been Elvis’ play toys, were now gone.

Elvis was back to playing with Maya again, but by now Maya was much bigger, and Elvis could no longer bully her.

It was around this time that Ana and I took our next trip – this time to Guatemala.

Chapter 15 – Traveling in Guatemala

I always felt like Ana and I’s relationship was at its best when we were traveling.  Those were always the most exciting times, at least for me.

Manzanillo is a small town, and there’s not much culture.  There is little art or music.  There is a movie theatre, but it primarily shows kids’ movies and horror movies (which are very popular in Mexico).  I have no interest in kids’ movies or horror movies, so we didn’t go to the movies very often.

There are some good restaurants in Manzanillo, but most of the good ones were out of our price range.  So, we would usually end up eating at the same two or three restaurants.  We had settled into a routine, and I think both of us were bored.

Every weekend, I would try to come up with things for us to do, and could never come up with anything.  In some cities, there are different things to do every weekend.  In Manzanillo, it’s not like that.  I was struggling to keep us entertained.

Even on weekends when there was something to do, like a surfing or skateboarding contest, Ana didn’t want to go.  We did not have the same interests, and frankly had little in common other than an open heart.  Sometimes I wonder how two people with so little in common ever fell in love in the first place.

We had a car, El Huevito, but I never felt confident enough to drive it far because it had mechanical problems that constantly needed fixing.  Thankfully, Ana’s brother Memo was a mechanic and fixed them for us.  Otherwise, we might have gone bankrupt from car repairs.

Ana and I’s trips were a chance for us to break out of the same boring cycles and get out into the world, see new things, and be inspired.  The trips injected new life into our relationship, or at least that’s how I felt.

Like our previous trips, the trip to Guatemala energized us.  We landed in Guatemala City, a big metropolitan city.  It’s more or less the same as any other big city in Latin America.  It reminded me a lot of Guadalajara.

But the real fun began when we got to Antigua, which is a fascinating place.  Antigua is at the foot of a massive volcano, Volcán de Agua.  There are at least three other massive volcanoes that you can see from Antigua – Volcán de Fuego, Volcán Acatenango, and Volcán Pacaya.

Volcán de Agua – Antigua, Guatemala

Guatemala is the most seismically active country in the world.  It has more volcanoes than any other country, despite being only about the same size as Kentucky.  Our rental host in Antigua said they have earthquakes at least once a month, but there were no earthquakes while we were there.

I couldn’t help but wonder why they built a city in a valley surrounded by volcanoes.  I did some research and learned that Antigua was once the capital of Guatemala, but they moved the capital to what is now Guatemala City because Antigua was destroyed three times by earthquakes from the 1500s to the 1700s.

One unique thing about Antigua is that there are Spanish ruins throughout the city.  You can find the remains of a centuries-old Spanish church right next to a convenience store.  The contrast between the ancient and the modern is always present.

Ruins outside the house where we stayed in Antigua.

There are lots of great places to hike and explore near Antigua, and Ana and I spent a lot of time out in nature.  We visited the parks and eco-reserves and took lots of scenic photos.  Ana and I liked spending time in nature together, although her love for walking was not as strong as mine.  For me, walking gives me exercise and inspiration at the same time – a perfect combination.  I could walk for hours every day, until my feet hurt.  Ana hung in there, but didn’t share the same zeal.  She’s not lazy, just not as active as me (most people aren’t).

Probably the highlight of the Guatemala trip was visiting Lake Atitlán, which is a massive lake in a volcanic crater at the foot of Volcán Atitlán.  The lake is picturesque, and when the sky is clear, you can see the giant volcano looming over it.  There are several towns situated around the lake, and you can visit them by boat.  Panajachel is the biggest and best known, but there are several others, and each offers a unique view of the lake.

Volcán Atitlán hidden by cloud cover.

The culture around Lake Atitlán is still deeply rooted in Mayan culture.  The people in the area still speak their Mayan language.  There are 23 Mayan languages in use in Guatemala, and most of them cannot understand each other.  People who don’t speak the same Mayan language communicate in Spanish.  The kids learn Spanish in school and speak their Mayan language at home.

Not everyone is bilingual.  Some people speak only their Mayan language.  Guatemala is still strongly connected to its Mayan roots, and many people still dress in traditional Mayan clothing.

At the south end of the lake, near the town of Santiago Atitlán, there is a lost Mayan city below the lake.  Many years ago, the lake’s water levels rose and flooded the city.  You can still see parts of the underwater city when the water is clear.

Cite of lost Mayan city at Santiago, Atitlán.

Ana and I spent a few days touring the towns around Lake Atitlán.  The coffee in this region is some of the best in the world.  The climate in Guatemala is perfect for growing coffee.

We visited some of the restaurants and sampled local foods.  One unique thing about Guatemalan food is that it is not spicy.  The climate in Guatemala is ideal for growing coffee and certain vegetables, but not good for growing spicy peppers.  It’s also expensive to transport peppers in Guatemala, so they just don’t use them.  Instead of peppers, they use a combination of herbs and spices to flavor their food.  One chef told us that they use as many as 18 different herbs and spices in a single sauce.

Often, Ana had to work while we were on our trips.  It didn’t bother me because it gave me time to write and reflect, read, or go exploring on my own.  She didn’t tell me until later that working on our trips was always stressful for her.  Between handling her job responsibilities and managing our travel plans, it was a lot for her – even though she didn’t show it.

Morning Workspace at Lago Atitlán.

She was a trooper, but I gathered that she didn’t enjoy the trips as much as I did because she had to work.  This made me sad and disappointed, because our trips together were some of the best times of my life – maybe the best times of my life.  It was disappointing to hear that she wasn’t having as much fun as I was.  I wanted her to share my level of enjoyment, but she didn’t.

Chapter 16 – Ana Comes to San Diego

When we got back to Manzanillo, the next order of business was getting Ana’s U.S. visa.  My brother’s wedding was coming up in San Diego, and the goal was to get the visa in time for Ana to come to his wedding with me.

Getting a U.S. visa is not easy for Mexican citizens.  There is a lengthy application and interview process.  Ana hired a professional to help her with the application.  Many frauds and scammers take people’s money by claiming to help them with their U.S. visas.  However, Ana hired someone who was referred to her, and her application was successful.

However, she had to travel all the way to Ciudad Juarez to do her interview, which was roughly 1,200 miles away from Manzanillo.  Juarez is on the U.S.-Mexican border between Chihuahua and Texas.  To say that it was inconvenient is an understatement – not to mention dangerous.  Juarez is one of the most dangerous cities in Mexico, yet that’s where Ana was required to go to get her visa.

Thankfully, Ana’s application was accepted, she completed the interview in Juarez, and received her visa in time for my brother’s wedding.  God had smiled at Ana and I, once again.  We were going to San Diego together.

We flew into Tijuana, which is cheaper and easier than flying into San Diego.  It’s easier because when you fly into Tijuana, you can cross into the U.S. through CBX, which is faster and more efficient than going through customs.

When we landed in Tijuana, Ana was nervous about going through the U.S. immigration checkpoint.  It was completely understandable.  Going through immigration is always a bit nerve-wracking, even for law-abiding people who aren’t doing anything wrong.

When we got to the gate, we had to wait in separate lines.  I was in the line for U.S. citizens, and Ana was in the line for foreigners.  I got through first and waited for Ana on the other side.  The line for foreigners was longer, so I waited for her for what seemed like forever.  I started to get a bit nervous.  But finally, Ana made it through.  She said that there were no incidents and that the only question the immigration officer asked her was how hot it was in Manzanillo.  The answer is very hot.

Once we arrived in San Diego, my family had the chance to meet Ana.  They loved her.  We stayed at an Airbnb for the first night, then with a few different friends.  The night we stayed at the Airbnb, a fire alarm inside the building went off all night, making it impossible to sleep.  After hours of continuous alarm blasts, I finally called the fire department.  Even the fire department couldn’t turn off the damn alarm.  Airbnb would not refund our money.  I have hated Airbnb ever since.

Then the wedding day came.  Ana and I got there early, along with the rest of my family, to take pictures.  Ana tried to hide and avoid being in the pictures, but she was in a few of them.  I wished she’d been more willing to be in the pictures.  It seemed like a major chore for her.

The wedding itself was a lot of fun.  Everyone was on the dance floor.  When I asked Ana if she wanted to dance, she looked at me with sheer terror.  I took that as a ”no.”  Her unwillingness to dance made me not want to dance.  I wish she had been more willing to dance so that we could have danced together.  I could have gone out there on the dance floor by myself, but it would not have been the same.

Ana met my friends, but didn’t engage with them that much.  When we stayed at my best friend Mike’s house, she got sick and stayed in the room most of the time.

Ana spent a lot of time working on her computer instead of hanging out with me, my friends, and my family.  She had work responsibilities, which was fair.  Also, she was a Spanish speaker in a group of English speakers, which was also fair.  But I wished she’d engaged more so that they could really get to know her.

Once the wedding was over, Ana and I went back to Manzanillo and back to our routines.

Chapter 17 – Medical Care in Mexico

I have far better access to healthcare in Mexico than I ever did in the U.S. I have worked full-time for my entire adult life, and have never had health insurance.  I gave up on healthcare in the U.S., and will probably never go back to the U.S. for that reason alone.

In Mexico, I was able to afford LASIK surgery on both of my eyes.  Before getting LASIK, my vision was only 10% of normal vision.  This made it extremely difficult, and at times dangerous, to surf because I could not see.  Thanks to living in Mexico, I was able to go to Guadalajara and have a world-class eye surgeon fix my eyes for $2,000 total.  A similar surgery would have cost at least double that in California.

Ana accompanied me on the trip to get eye surgery, which made it a whole lot easier.  I was very grateful to have Ana with me.  I’m not sure that I would have been able to get that surgery done without Ana helping me.  Having her there made everything a boatload more convenient.

Also, I have had chronic neck and back pain for at least eight years – including the entire time that I have known Ana.  It started when I was working every day on a laptop.  I got rid of the laptop, but haven’t been able to get rid of the pain.  I saw a variety of doctors and orthopedic specialists in Mexico, and was never able to cure myself.  If I lived in the U.S., I never would have been able to see a doctor at all.

The back and neck pain affects me most when I sit, which is bad because my job requires me to sit for several hours per day at a computer.  There are ways to manage the pain, mostly by getting up and moving around, but it is a constant problem.  I have not had a single day without back and neck pain in at least eight years.

The pain affects my mood greatly.  When I am in pain, I get short-tempered and irritable.  I am in pain pretty much all the time when I work, and I work pretty much all the time.  My back pain affected my relationship with Ana because it affected my mood.  When I am in pain, I have very little patience.  I get angry easily.  I hate to be bothered.

Ana and I went to specialists in Manzanillo, Colima, and even Autlán – which was three hours away.  Nothing that I tried healed the pain.  It is still something that I struggle with daily.  It has a major impact on my attitude, quality of life, and how I show up for other people.

Chapter 18 – Ana and I Get Married

The condo where we live permits dogs, but the area isn’t particularly dog-friendly.  Cars pass by the street in front of our house, going way too fast.  For years, I have complained to management about getting a speed bump in front of the building – but not surprisingly, nothing has been done.  Most likely, nothing will be done until someone gets run over.

There is an empty lot between our condo and the beach, and that is where we take the dogs to do their business.  However, it’s not an ideal situation.  We always have to be aware of street dogs and other people.  Also, it’s not particularly safe going down alone at night.  Living by the beach, there are sometimes strange people roaming around.  Thus, we would take the dogs down together at night instead of going alone.

Ana and I desperately wanted to buy a house.  One, to stop spending money on rent.  And two, to have a better place for our dogs – ideally a place with a yard so we didn’t have to take them up and down the stairs constantly.

We talked to a Mexican lawyer who said buying a house together would be much easier if we were married.  Furthermore, getting married would allow me to get residency in Mexico, which meant I would no longer have to leave the country every six months due to visa restrictions.  Mexico lets you stay in the country for up to six months on a tourist visa.  You can simply leave the country and come back, but you must do so.  If you don’t, you have to pay fines that amount to a few hundred dollars – enough that you might as well have just used that money to leave the country for a short trip and come back.  It wasn’t an issue for me since I had been traveling internationally every few months, but it was nice not to have to leave the country.

Thus, Ana and I decided to get married.  We did not invite anyone to our wedding.  We did not tell our parents or our friends.  We just went to the courthouse and did the paperwork.  We brought our building manager and one of his friends as witnesses, and we bought them lunch afterwards as a thank you for their help.  I encouraged Ana to invite her parents at least, but she didn’t want to.

So, we eloped – although it wasn’t an impulsive decision.  It was calculated.  We mostly did it because we wanted to buy a house together.  That was the goal.  We’d been living together for about 2.5 years at the time – happily, as far as I was concerned.  So, we just figured, why not?

We took exactly two photos.  Ana didn’t even want to take those two.  I didn’t read too much into it.  Maybe I should have.

Chapter 19 – Queenie Weenie

We weren’t planning on getting another dog, but one day a surprise came.  I was at my desk working when Ana came home from her aunt’s house.  She didn’t come alone.

She had a six-pound chihuahua mix with her.  At first glance, the dog was not nearly as cute as she is now.  She was unkempt and disheveled from living on the street and not being cared for.  She had long gray hairs around her mouth that looked like a gray beard – making her look much older than she was.  She was really a baby, but looked like a ‘’viejita’’ (little old lady).

Queenie Weenie

Ana asked me if we could keep her.  The little dog was so sweet and loving; there was no way I could say no, despite her appearance.  So, we cleaned her up, shaved her, took her to the vet, and soon she looked like a completely different dog.  She was adorable.  All she needed was some TLC.

The new little dog quickly proved to be the best-behaved out of all three of our dogs.  Elvis was constantly barking at the dogs and people passing by in the street.  Maya was still going pee and poop inside the house nearly every night.  Maya and Elvis both pulled on their leashes constantly every time we took them downstairs to go to the bathroom.  The new little dog didn’t have any of these problems.  She potty trained herself within two days, never barked, and didn’t require a leash because she was small and harmless and stayed with the other two dogs.

She was so well-behaved that we decided to name her Queenie.  She was a unique mix of a Chihuahua and a German Shepherd.  She was the size of a chihuahua, but had the intelligence of a German Shepherd.  She is the most loving dog I have ever met.  Because of her size and vulnerability, she learned early on that her best defense mechanism against the world – her best means of survival – was to show love.

Queenie Weenie loves belly rubs.

Queenie showed love to everyone she met.  Everyone who meets Queenie wants to keep her.  One time, a stranger offered Ana 7,000 pesos for Queenie – about 350 dollars, which is a lot of money in the local economy.  The truth is that we could have used the money, but there’s no chance we would ever sell Queenie Weenie.  She was part of the family from Day 1.

Queenie Weenie got adopted because she was so openly loving.  If she were mean or shy, Ana never would have found her and wanted to bring her home.  If Queenie were not loving, her life would have been completely different.  The life of most street dogs is brutal and short.  Queenie got saved because she was so loving.

There is a lesson in there somewhere.

Queenie Weenie

Chapter 20 – Meeting the Baby

Ana and I’s first trip to San Diego was to attend my brother’s wedding.  Less than a year later, our second trip to San Diego was to meet his newborn daughter.

Meeting the baby and spending time with my family was a priceless gift, but the rest of the trip didn’t go so well.

On our first full day in San Diego, I met with John – the attorney whose website I had been writing for the past four years.  I was a contractor, not an employee, so he wasn’t technically my ‘’boss’’ – but he was my only client, so he might as well have been my boss.

We went out to lunch, and John told me the bad news.  John said that he was happy with my work, but that he was not satisfied with the person who had been doing the design, analytics, and everything else related to the website besides the writing.  He told me that he had raised issues with that person multiple times, and was still having problems, so he decided to let them go.

In his place, John decided to hire a full-service marketing firm that handled everything related to the website – including writing.  That meant that I was out of a job.

The job had been paying me enough to cover my expenses, but not much more than that.  I was essentially living paycheck to paycheck and barely getting by.  I had very little savings – enough to last a month or two and nothing more.

Losing my job was not the way I wanted to start my trip, and it put me under a lot of stress.  Nonetheless, I didn’t panic.  I was confident that I would be able to find work quickly.  I have a great education, including a law degree.  I have a solid work history.  I practiced law for eight years.  I was, and still am, an excellent writer.  As worried as I was, I was also optimistic that I would find work.

However, things didn’t get much better from there.  The next night, I got food poisoning and was sick to my stomach for several days.  I was running to the bathroom every 30 minutes, both day and night.  My family was understandably worried about letting me near the baby because of the illness.

Once my stomach started feeling better, I took Ana to Coronado Beach – which is one of the most scenic and walkable beaches in San Diego.  When we arrived, there were signs everywhere prohibiting people from going in the water due to sewage contamination from Tijuana.  Absolutely disgusting.  One of the most pristine and beautiful beaches in the world, and you can’t even go in the water because of water contamination.  Our governments are absolutely failing us.

Then – to top things off – we were walking back to our car when a random, homeless person who seemed like a crackhead started throwing punches at me out of nowhere.  I had never seen this guy before in my life.  He just walked up and started trying to punch me.  This did not happen in a bad neighborhood – it happened right in front of a bunch of 20 million dollar homes.

I trained Muay Thai and boxing for eight years, and was able to defend the punches without getting hurt, but it was still shocking.  Ana and I reported the incident to the police.  While I was talking to the police, another guy came over and said that the perpetrator had just done the same thing to him moments earlier.  It took us a couple of hours to identify the guy, fill out a police report, and have him arrested – but they finally arrested the perp and took him to jail.

A couple of days later, the police officer who made the arrest called me and asked if I would be able to come to court and testify.  I told her that I couldn’t because I live in Mexico, was leaving the country in a couple of days, and did not know when I was going to return.  The other victim, from Brazil, was also not in town to testify.

The result is that neither of us was available to testify against the perp, and he didn’t spend nearly as much time in jail as he should have.

So – within 7 days – I had lost my job, gotten violently sick to my stomach, and was attacked by a random tweaker at the beach.  What a great trip!

At least I got to see my family and spend time with my baby niece.

Chapter 21 – Failing as an Entrepreneur

Losing my job suddenly and unexpectedly put me in a real bind.  I had to find work quickly, and I had to do it from abroad.  I did not have the luxury of doing in-person networking, which put me at a huge disadvantage.

I am a face-to-face guy.  I cannot stand social media.  At the time I lost my job, I had no social media accounts.  I closed all of my social media accounts years before, and never planned to open them again.  But now, I didn’t have a choice.

I live in a small town in Mexico, and there is little opportunity for business networking.  I had to figure out how to build a business online, and I had to do it fast.

For the past four years, I’d been doing SEO for law firms.  I had studied how to do it and got very good at it, so I thought I could start a business doing that.  However, I was wary of losing more clients the way that I just lost John.  I had friends who built websites and did pay-per-click ads, so I decided to bring those services in-house to assure quality and retain clients.

I worked my ass off to build a business website and set up social media accounts, and I was proud of what I had done.  I felt like I did a great job.  But the clients never came, and my savings were soon gone.  Now, my mom and my wife were supporting me.

I tried everything I could think of.  I was posting on social media.  I was commenting and sending people DMs.  I was writing and publishing SEO.  I started an email list.  I made a list of 50 friends and family members and called all of them.  I reached out to people I didn’t know to set up networking phone calls.  Nothing I did worked.  I was getting desperate.

One day, I got a message from my old business partner, Dinesh.  He saw what I was doing and wanted to talk about it.  This was a glimmer of hope after I had been working for months with no return whatsoever.

It just so happened that Dinesh was going to be in Mexico City at the same time that Ana was going to Mexico City for work, so I decided to go along so that I could meet up with him.

Chapter 22 – Mexico City

The trip to Mexico City was short, but it was a welcome break from life in Manzanillo.  I spent all day, every day, working at my desk – but I was getting nowhere.  More than six months had passed, and I still couldn’t find a single client despite my best efforts.

My wife and mom had been supporting me, and I could not have felt like a bigger loser.  I had worked all day, every day for the past 6 months without a single day off, and I still had not made a dime.  I was working myself into the ground, and still couldn’t afford my rent or groceries.

On top of that, I was bored stiff in Manzanillo.  I was surfing and going to the skatepark daily, but there was nothing else to do besides that.  When I wasn’t working or training, there was nothing to do.  I had no time to do anything besides work or train, anyway.  My dream of living abroad and being free was turning into a nightmare.

Ana and I’s relationship was at its best when we had a lot of things to do together, and at its worst when we were stuck inside staring at the walls.  So, the Mexico City trip was a welcome change of scene.

There’s a lot to do in Mexico City.  Even on a tight budget, Ana and I had a great trip.

Palacio de Bellas Artes, Mexico City.

We spent a whole day at Chapultepec, which is a giant park in the middle of the city – like Central Park in NYC but twice as big.  One of the main features of Chapultepec is the castle, which sits high upon a hill and offers scenic views.  The castle began construction in 1785 and has a fascinating history.  We saved money by touring it without a guide and still learned a lot and had a great time.  I highly recommend visiting Castle Chapultepec if you are in Mexico City.

Another one of Chapultepec’s main features is the museum of anthropology.  The museum is enormous, with a vast collection of indigenous art and other features that date back thousands of years.  It’s fascinating.  I could have spent an entire day in the museum.

We also did a bus tour in a two-story pink bus that goes all over the city.  It’s a great way to see the city – and you don’t have to drive or take Uber.  I recommend sitting on top, on the second deck.  You can buy a day pass that’s good for 24 hours and take it all over town.  There’s a map that shows you where the bus routes go.

The bus is cheaper and more interesting than taking an Uber or a taxi.  Plus, if you sit on the top deck, you’ll be outside and get a more engaging experience.  You get to feel the wind and the sun, hear the sounds, and gain a better feel for the city than if you were insulated inside a vehicle.

Chinatown, Mexico City

Another highlight for us was Museo Soumaya, which is a popular art museum.  The best part is that it’s free.  It’s best to visit the museums in the morning, as that’s when they are the least crowded.  And they’re less crowded during weekdays.  Ana and I went in the morning on a random weekday, and there was almost no crowd whatsoever.  It was great.

Museo Soumaya

We also enjoyed walking around Lincoln Park, which is a great spot for coffee or lunch.  It’s a bit more expensive and in an upscale part of town, but safe and very nice to walk around.  While we were there, Ana and I looked at apartments in Lincoln Park.  We were quoted 6,000 dollars per month for a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment – and the building wasn’t even new.  It looked like it was built in the 1970s.  Also, that is the price they quoted Ana, who is Mexican and a native Spanish speaker.  If I had talked to them, they probably would have given me the gringo price, which could be anywhere from 20% to 100% higher.

While Ana worked, I met up with Dinesh.  We had all of the pieces in place to offer a world-class service.  The only thing missing was the clients.  It was my job to find them, and I couldn’t find them to save my life.

I couldn’t help but think that my luck might be better in a place like Mexico City, which offered many more opportunities for in-person networking.  But moving would be unduly expensive, both in terms of time and money.  It was not realistic to think I could move to Mexico City with 0 dollars in my bank account.

Plaza de la Constitución empty at night. Mexico City.

One way or another, I was going to have to figure things out from my current home in Manzanillo.  Despite all of my struggles, I was still optimistic and feeling recharged when we got back in town.  I came home and went straight back to work.  Not like I had a choice.

Chapter 23 – Puerto Vallarta

The nearest big tourist destination to Manzanillo is Puerto Vallarta.  Although they appear close together on a map, they are actually quite far apart when driving from one to the other.

It takes about 4.5 hours to drive from Manzanillo to Puerto Vallarta, mostly because the roads are in poor condition.  At many stages of the journey, the streets are narrow, winding, and riddled with deep potholes.  The potholes are big enough that you can blow out your whole suspension if you hit one at high speed, so you have to take your time and be careful.

You also need to plan for the possibility of getting stuck behind large trucks.  On a winding, two-lane highway with potholes the size of lakes, you have to be very careful passing.  So, if you get stuck behind a large vehicle, you might be there for a while.

When my family told me they were coming to Puerto Vallarta, I was thrilled.  They bought an all-inclusive package at a resort that was on sale through Costco.  My brother and his wife are normally pretty adventurous, but with a 9-month-old baby, staying at an all-inclusive resort made a lot of sense.  My mom, my brother’s mother-in-law, and our friend who also has a small baby joined the trip.  So, we had a full crew: two moms, two babies, two grandmas, a dad, and Ana and I.

By the time the Puerto Vallarta trip rolled around, I had been working constantly for nine months and still had not found a single client.  My savings had expired long ago, and there was no way I could make the trip.  My mom offered to pay for it because she wanted to see Ana and I.  I didn’t want my family paying for me.  However, my desire to see them ultimately outweighed my shame in accepting the offer.

Everyone stayed at the resort except Ana and I.  We saved money by renting a small house about 20 minutes inland from the beach.  We brought our dogs on the trip, and the place that we stayed had an enclosed yard for them to play and run around.

Each day of the trip, I would go to the resort to visit my family.  Most of the days, I snuck in without paying.  In many parts of Puerto Vallarta, the only way to access the beach is through the hotels.  The hotels have a monopoly on beach access.  That meant the only way for me to go to the beach and see my family was to purchase a day pass from the hotel, and the prices were exorbitant.  I was not about to pay the hotel to get access to my family because 1) I don’t think it’s right that they have a monopoly over the beach, and 2) I couldn’t afford to pay their ridiculous prices, anyway.

I didn’t think twice about sneaking into the hotel to spend time with my family.  They received no apology from me, and they never will.  Ana refused to go to the hotel because she didn’t want to sneak in.  I couldn’t blame her.  I didn’t particularly like it, either.  The whole time, I was annoyed about feeling like I had to sneak around to spend time with my family.  But when the choice came to sneak into the hotel or purchase a day pass at extortionist prices, you can guess which route I took.

At the resort, we pretty much walked around the beach, hung out at the pool, and ate at the buffets, which was fine with me.  I was just happy to spend time with my family.  Ana spent most of the time by herself with the dogs at the place we rented.  I was bummed that she was not with us, but I can’t blame her for not wanting to sneak into the hotel.  She had to work, anyway.

The two babies kept our group close to the hotel for most of the time, but we did get out to explore Puerto Vallarta a little bit.  We walked all up and down the boardwalk, ate at some good restaurants, jumped in the ocean for a swim, and explored some of the nearby harbors.

After a few days of sneaking into the hotel, they finally caught on to me.  The staff mentioned something to our group about not having wristbands.  They were very nice about it, which is only fair because I was with a large group of paying customers.

On our last day in Puerto Vallarta, my mom insisted on buying wristbands for Ana and I so we could come into the hotel and spend the day together.  I reluctantly agreed, not because I didn’t want to be with my family, but because I felt terrible for not being able to afford my own wristband.

I had been busting my ass for the past 9 months to get my business off the ground, and I still didn’t have two dimes to rub together.  If it weren’t for my mom and Ana, I would have been homeless.

Entrepreneurship is not a joke.  You really can lose everything, no matter how hard you try.

Chapter 24 – The Beginning of the End

By this time, I should have realized that something was off between Ana and I, but I didn’t.  I was so focused on getting my business off the ground that I lost sight of pretty much everything else.  I was failing at both my business and my relationship, but I was only conscious that I was failing at my business.

I knew I had been irritable and stressed out.  However, I saw it as a temporary issue stemming from my inability to find paid work in nearly a year – despite showing up every day and doing my best.  In my mind, it was only a matter of time before things turned around.

I had done everything I could possibly think to do.  I built a great website.  I posted and engaged consistently on social media.  I called my friends and family.  I called my old business partners and colleagues.  I networked with strangers.  I started a newsletter.  I read books and took courses created by ”experts.”  I even made my own course, which I was very proud of, even though it didn’t sell a single copy.

None of this was good enough to land me a single client.

My mom knew how badly I was struggling and bought me sessions with a career coach.  I did everything the career coach asked of me, and more.  I worked so hard at it that the career coach almost fired me because she didn’t have time to address all my questions.

Still, I did not land a single client.

On top of all of that, I was in serious physical pain.  My neck and back hurt me constantly from spending so much time at my desk.  I desperately needed a break from my desk, but I couldn’t stop working because I desperately needed money.  I was trapped, angry, frustrated, miserable, and in loads of pain.  I was not pleasant to be around.

I couldn’t have felt worse.  In addition to financial pain, I was also in horrible physical pain.  I spent hours and hours at my desk every day, and my back and neck were constantly killing me.

I was short, irritable, and angry all the time.  My wife, who was helping to support me at the time, could hardly stand me.  I could hardly stand myself.  I was completely miserable.

Combine physical pain, financial struggles, and lack of intimacy, and you have a perfect recipe for relationship trouble.

I knew things weren’t perfect, but I never considered the possibility of what happened next.

Most nights during the week, Ana went to the gym to train.  When she got home, she would call my phone to notify me to bring the dogs down.  We took the dogs down together at night because it was safer that way.  That phone call always annoyed me because it always came while I was right in the middle of something.

One night in particular, I was practicing my guitar.  I was dead tired from working and training all day, but I still mustered up the discipline to pick up my guitar and play.  I was right in the middle of the practice session when the phone call came.  I picked up the phone, answered in a short and annoyed manner, then took the dogs down.

When I got downstairs, Ana took exception to the tone and manner in which I answered the phone.  I was tired, irritated, and probably a little bit rude – but I was honest with her.  I told her that those phone calls were annoying.  She responded that the whole situation was annoying (having to take the dogs down several times per day).

The dogs did their business, and then Ana and I went to bed – neither of us in a great mood.

The next day, my entire world fell apart.

It was midday, and Ana and I had a minor disagreement about something.  I don’t remember what it was, and it’s not important.  The only thing that mattered was what happened next.

Ana was sitting in a chair at the table when she stood up and told me that she wanted a divorce.  At first, I didn’t believe it.  I asked her if she was serious.  She said yes.

My stomach hit the floor.  Ana is not one for games.

I was completely blindsided.  It took several seconds to process what just happened.  Then I cried harder than I have ever cried in my life.

In my mind, Ana and the dogs were my family, and family is for life.  It’s an unbreakable bond.  Even though we got married alone, with only our building manager and his friend as our witnesses, the marriage and the bond between us were 100% real to me.

All of my future plans included Ana.  Since we moved in together, I never imagined life without her.  We planned on having kids together.  We talked about where and how we wanted to raise them.  She had met my family, and I had met hers.  We overcame a language barrier to be together.

The emotional pain was the worst I have ever felt in my life.  I felt like I was going to die.

Ana packed her stuff that same day and moved back to her parents’ house.  We’d been married just over a year.

At first, I refused to give up the dogs.  I told Ana that the dogs were going to stay with me.  I loved my dogs as much as I loved Ana – maybe even more.  They were my family.  If you’re not a dog person, then you don’t understand.  The dogs were as much a part of my family as Ana was.

When I tried to keep the dogs, Ana cried.  She didn’t cry over me.  She cried over the dogs.

Eventually, we reached a compromise.  Elvis and Maya would go with Ana, and Queenie would stay with me for the time being.  I could not bear to be alone.

Initially, Ana thought that I was going to kidnap Queenie and give her away to get back at Ana.  I promised Ana that I was not going to do that.  In reality, I would never do that.  I love Queenie too much to do that to her.  Queenie was not going anywhere.  She was staying right next to me.

Within a couple of hours, Ana had packed all of her things and left, along with Elvis and Maya.  I called my family in tears and told them what happened.  In addition to being broke, unemployed, and in horrible pain from my back – now my wife and best friend had left me on top of everything else.

I have never felt worse in my entire life.  I had been trying so hard to make things work in my business and my relationship, and everything completely fell apart.  I felt like I was cursed and couldn’t help but wonder what I had done to deserve this.

My best efforts and best intentions had blown right up in my face, in the worst way possible.

When Ana left with Elvis and Maya, Queenie climbed up to her favorite spot and watched them leave from the window.  She looked at me, confused about why Ana was leaving with the other two dogs.  Our dogs had always been together.  Queenie didn’t know how to act when she wasn’t with Elvis and Maya.

The next few days were horrible.  I could hardly believe what happened.  I was so sad and depressed that I could barely force myself to work, but I did anyway.  I was still desperate for money and didn’t have time to wallow in sadness.  Queenie stayed with me for those first few days and slept with me in my bed to keep me company.  Thank God for Queenie.  If it weren’t for her unconditional love, things would have been even worse.

But Queenie was sad, too.  She had no idea what was going on between Ana and I, but she was sad to be separated from the other dogs.  I was working all day and could not keep her company.  I made sure to take her on long walks every day, but she was lonely.  I had to put her back with the other dogs.  It wasn’t right to keep her separated.  Queenie loves humans, but she was happiest when she was with the other dogs.  That’s where she belongs.

I called Ana every day after she left.  I thought that she was going to come back.  I thought that maybe after having some time away, she would calm down and want to come back.  I asked her multiple times to come back.  Each time, she said no.  Each time, I cried uncontrollably.  I was devastated to my core.

After a few days, I decided it wasn’t fair to Queenie to keep her away from the other dogs, so I let Ana come and pick her up.  I was sad not to have Queenie at home, but I knew she would be happier with the other dogs at Ana’s parents’ house.

So, that’s how I lost Ana and my dogs.

I could not keep the dogs from Ana because 1) Ana is the one rescued them from the street, 2) she had done the majority of the work taking care of them (although I contributed my fair share), 3) I couldn’t afford to take care of them because I was unable to find work for nearly a year, and 4) Ana’s parents’ house had a yard and was a better environment for the dogs.

I kept calling Ana every day after she left.  I was always hopeful that she would come back.  I talked to my family and friends to get advice.  It was important to me that I do everything I could to save the marriage, and I did.  I offered to do therapy or marital counseling, but Ana wasn’t interested.

All she said was that at some point – she didn’t know when – her feelings had changed.  I tried to change her feelings back, but I couldn’t.  The love was gone, and it was never going to come back, no matter how hard I tried.

Queenie, Elvis, Maya

Chapter 25 – Closure

For months following our separation, I called Ana every day.  We had open communication.  We talked about what went wrong and why.  I acknowledged the parts of it that I was responsible for.  I couldn’t help but hope and pray that she would come back, and deep down, I thought she would.

But she didn’t.  She never came back.  Her feelings for me changed, and the love never returned.  It didn’t matter what I did or what I said.  It was too late.

In reality, her mind was made up before she left.  It was just a matter of choosing the right moment.  Whatever love we had died before she decided to leave.  If she still loved me, she wouldn’t have left – or she would have at least given me a chance to make things right.

She never did.  She never gave me a second chance, even though I asked her.  She didn’t want to.

It was hard to realize it at the time, but she probably did me a favor.  She and I weren’t meant for each other.  If we were, we would still be together.

Ana and the dogs were the best thing that ever happened to me, and losing them was the most painful thing that’s ever happened to me.

Me with Queenie, Elvis, and Maya at the beach.

Only after months of anguish did I start to see the silver lining.  For one, there were no kids involved.  Thank God that Ana and I had not had kids yet.  If we had, everything would have been 100 times worse.

I remember seeing Queenie stare out the window, watching Ana leave with Elvis and Maya.  It hurt me so much to see her like that.  I can’t imagine how much it would have hurt if that were our kid instead of a dog.  Losing your dogs is one thing; losing your kids is something completely different.  So, I thank God for that.

Getting a divorce also opens the door to allow intimacy into my life, again.  The reality is that our bedroom had been completely dead for months before Ana left.  That was probably the biggest problem, even more than me being broke and angry all the time.  If things were still good in the bedroom, we would have had a lot more incentive to stick it out.  But things weren’t good in the bedroom.  We just weren’t attracted to each other anymore.

Being divorced means that now there is the possibility of finding someone new.

There’s also the fact that Ana and I don’t have much in common.  Aside from our shared love for dogs and travel, we have pretty different tastes.  She doesn’t like surfing or the beach.  She doesn’t like skating or going to the skatepark.  She’s not particularly into sports.  She works out, but not as rigorously as I do.  She doesn’t like to read or write.  We don’t like the same movies.  The list goes on.

Ana is very practical and grounded.  She works as an accountant.  I am a writer and musician.  A creative.  She can’t understand why someone like me would forego the security of a ‘’real job’’ to chase a dream that only I can see.  Taking risks goes against her practical sensibilities.

As hard as it is to say goodbye to Ana, I just have to focus on the possibilities.  I only despair when I focus on what I lost.  When I focus on what I have to gain, I see nothing but opportunity.

The first order of business is to stabilize my career and business, as this will be the foundation of everything I do going forward.

I am no longer pigeon-holing myself to the legal industry like I did before.  That was a huge mistake.  I never liked being a lawyer or being in the legal industry, and I was never particularly successful at it – mostly because I hated it so much.  I have left that industry completely, and I am never going back.  There may be an amount of money high enough to convince me to go back, but nobody is making me those kinds of offers, and why would they?

Since Ana left, I have committed myself 100% to making a career as a writer.  I am not even looking for other jobs because I don’t want them.  I want to be a writer.

I have never felt more confident in my abilities as a writer, or less confident that I will ever get a meaningful opportunity to use them.  I am looking for editorial gigs to pay the bills so that I can write books.  That’s what I really want.

After Ana left, I was able to find a gig doing web design and SEO for a real estate company that flips houses.  It was a one-time project.  I now have enough money to pay my rent for the next two months.

As I write this, I am two months from being homeless – with no job in sight.  My mom already told me she can’t help me anymore.  I don’t blame her.  She has already been far more generous than I could ever ask her to be.

This is the reality of a ‘’starving artist.’’  There is nothing romantic about it.  I have lost everything chasing my dreams – my job, my wife, my dogs.  The only reason I have a place to live is because my mom bailed me out when shit hit the fan.  It wasn’t for her I would be homeless with no place to live and no place to work.

Most of the time, when you think of people being homeless, you think they got there because they have an alcohol or drug problem, or some kind of mental illness.  I am sober as a church mouse.  I don’t drink or do drugs.

My only mental illness is self-belief.  I believe that I can make it as a writer and artist – and that’s the hill I’m about to die on, right here in these boots.

My only plan is to publish as much writing as possible and pray to God that it leads to meaningful work opportunities.  Nothing else I’ve done in my career has worked, so this is as good a plan as any.

I was born to be a writer and artist, so I can only hope that God makes my dreams come true within the next two months before my bank account is at $0.

Am I optimistic?  Not particularly.  I have been let down too many times.  I have never had more faith in my abilities, and never had less faith that I will ever get a meaningful chance to use them.

As long as it’s up to me, everything will work out.  However, if I have to rely on other people for opportunities, then it will almost certainly not work out.

That’s not being pessimistic, it’s just being honest.  After how hard I have worked and how few opportunities I have had to make money, it would be unrealistic to see things any other way.

So, I write and I pray.

For months after the separation, Ana would bring the dogs over and leave them with me for a week or two at a time.  But the longer we stay separated, the less frequent the visits, and the less I get to see my dogs.

The final straw came when Ana’s car, El Huevito, broke down.  The car had chronic problems the entire time we had it, and finally stopped working.  So, Ana sold it and now doesn’t have a car.  Which means she never comes to visit.  Which means I never see my dogs.

I am broke, heartbroken, and dogless, but still out here chasing my dreams.  If there is any kind of justice in the world, things will turn around for me soon – but I’m not sure that there is justice in the world, and I sure as hell can’t guarantee that things are going to turn around soon.  Not after the year I just had.

Ever since the day I lost my job, I thought things would turn around any minute.  If I just work hard and do everything I can, there is no way that I can stay down, right?  Wrong.  It’s been one year and three months since I lost my job, and nothing has turned around for me.  I am two months from having 0 dollars in my bank account, with no ladder up.

I have accepted that Ana is gone and is not coming back.  Now, I am free.  But I will miss my dogs forever.  I will never be able to replace them.

I think about my dogs every day.  When I see pictures of them, I cry because I can’t be with them.  But I don’t cry over Ana anymore.  I cried for months, and now there’s nothing left.

The only thing I care about now is getting my writing career off the ground.  I don’t pray that Ana will come back.  I pray to be a rich and famous author.  I pray to get the credit that I am due.  That’s what I pray for.  I pray that I will get what I deserve.

Some people might think it’s arrogant to say that.  Those people have no idea how much work I have put in – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to get where I am today.  The boos always come from the cheap seats.  Not from other people who are putting in the work.  People who are putting in the work recognize it when they see it.  It’s only a matter of time before the whole world recognizes me.

I am not waiting to get noticed.  If I did that, I would be waiting forever.  Instead, I am working to make myself undeniable.  I will continue to write and publish until my greatness is undeniable, and people have no choice but to recognize me.

I don’t know what life is going to look like without Ana and my dogs, but I do know that I will keep moving forward.  I have no choice.

I am not excited about dating again.  I never liked dating, and I’m not happy to have to go through that process again.  But I am optimistic that I will find someone.

My biggest goal is to be a father, and I am not getting any younger.  I am already 41 years old, so I hope that I find someone soon.  I thought that Ana was the person, but she is not.  That is obvious to me now.  I only hope that I can find the right person before it is too late.

It’s important to me that my career be stable before I get into another relationship.  I don’t want to be stressed out about finding work or money.  I don’t want to have the same problems that I had with Ana.  I don’t want to be angry all the time because I spend all my time working without getting paid.  I am ready for those days to be over.  I am ready to get what I deserve—no more waiting.  I have waited far too long.  I have been a ”starving artist” for over a decade, living paycheck to paycheck.  I have paid my dues.  I am ready to get what’s mine.

So, there you have it.

This story is dedicated to my dogs: Maya, Elvis, and Queenie.

More stories by Eddie.
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