Saturday night, I met a woman who astounded me.  It was a launch party for a magazine she published.  She read it out loud in front of everyone.  It was a packed house.  The truth of her words hit me and woke things up inside of me I hadn’t felt.  But when I tried to talk to her afterward, I had nothing.

The first time I tried to talk to her, all I could get out was, “Great job,” or “Awesome,” or some generic BS like that.  I had nothing for her. Then I shook her hand.  There were other people around her trying to talk to her, so I went up to the front and bought a copy of her magazine while I tried to think of something to say.

I still hadn’t thought of anything to say to her on the way out, so I decided to go up the street and drink a beer and read her magazine.  Hopefully, that would get the wheels turning.  I left my bike back at the party, so I had a reason to come back and talk to her again once the crowd left.

I drank my beer, read her magazine, and walked back to the party.  Thankfully she was still there.

“Hey, I’m Eddie.”

We shake hands, and she gives me her name.  I still couldn’t come up with one word for her, so I followed the same rule that I follow for writing which is “always start with one true sentence.”

“I just drank a beer and read your magazine and I had to come back and talk to you.  I really enjoyed it.”

She smiled at that, which meant it was a good first sentence.  Then there was a pause.  I looked for sentence number two, but it didn’t come.  She was looking at me, waiting for me to say something.  And I had nothing.  I wanted to give her all the love and praise and admiration n the world.  I was fascinated by her.  I wanted to give her everything.  And I had nothing.  No words.  I was dumbfounded and speechless.  I was completely awestruck by her.  I couldn’t get another word out.

“That’s it.”

When I said, “That’s it,” I saw her face drop.  She was looking at me like, “Are you kidding me?  That’s it?  That’s the best you have?”  And it was.  I had nothing.  I have never felt so useless.

I had no idea what to say.  And she knew it too.  She looked at me like, “you’re an idiot.”  And I was like, “I know.”  I’ve never been so disappointed in myself.

There were a million things I wanted to say.  How could I possibly be expected to process all of that within the span of one beer in twenty minutes?  Hopefully I see her again.  I won’t forget her name.  It’s on my bookshelf now.